Tag Archives: life

Good Tuesday Morning!

The title sounds much more enthusiastic than I feel.

I had the flu the week of Christmas. It lasted the entire week of Christmas and into the following week. Now a very obnoxious, very deep cough is left over. Antibiotics did nothing. So I’m thinking its either going to heal itself, eventually, or it’s what the locals call Cedar Fever. Which is the allergic reaction to the pollinating Cedar trees around these here parts. When I get paid, Friday, I’ll invest in some more meds . . . this time antihistamines. We’ll see…

Christmas was fantastic this year. After the sticker-shock of the live Christmas tree, that looks like an actual Christmas tree, we decorated with homemade ornaments. The boys and I had a blast making ornaments; all of our Christmas decorations are still in Oregon.

Oh, did I mention we haven’t moved our things down yet? 😦 The plan is Justin is going down the third weekend, or so, of January to retrieve our belongings, including his car that is sitting idle at our friend’s house. We’ll see if we can swing that financially and time-wise.

Work is going good. I have never been in a teacher position before and I’m enjoying it, and the kids. This week is the first week I planned and implemented all by my lonesome. Ok, not totally by myself . . . my co-teacher answers all my retarded questions and still has to tell me where to find certain items. But, mostly by myself . . . more by myself than ever before, in this position. 🙂  I’m going to start school, but I missed this term . . . apparently, here in the great state of Texas, they have two terms. I’m used to a tri-mester situation, where if I don’t have all my ducks in a row for winter term, I can attend spring term. I don’t have all my ducks in a row. Nope. Including not being a Texas citizen for over 6 months, so tuition is ridiculous. Fall term is probably when I’ll start.

Justin’s off in Florida for training for his new job. Hyperbaric Chamber Tech. Very exciting stuff.

Boys are enjoying school. I signed them up for winter basketball league. That  starts today. Tobias is apprehensive. In the last few months I’ve noticed him being a tad shy of new things and situations. He loves basketball though and I’m trusting he’ll be just fine.

And, its now 2013. Crazy town! I look forward to going back to school and, God willing, buying a house come fall/winter, and just making our home here in the Austin area.

Off to make new adventures today!



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Fast Moving

I was hired nearly three weeks ago, for a preschool (that runs on the same schedule as the local school districts) and I was, initially, told that I’d be starting August 15th. Then the gal that hired  me decided she wanted to put me through teacher training, so I was told July 30th would be my start date. . . then she had a problem getting that signed off on, so it went back to August 15th; until this week . . . now the training bit has been signed off on (a tad more complicated than my simple rendition) and I’m to start Monday. Yikes . . . talk about puttin’ it into gear! But, I’m extremely grateful . . . I get to come in as a full time teacher, whilst earning my CDA, and benefit from the two week teacher training to boot.

Grateful, excited, nervous and scared . . .  all at the same time. And I’m learning to just hand it over to an ever-faithful God. 🙂 Amazing how he dolls out efficient amounts of grace for what we are handed to do each day. Look to Him and trust Him and the peace, understanding and love of God will be a mainstay in my life . . . Truth.

Today I go in to turn in some stuff and get the ball rolling for the payroll end of things . . . I take off here in a few minutes.

Whisper a prayer for me in my new endeavor . . . one I hope to make a lifetime career of influencing and teaching young children.


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Set a Date

We had tentatively been throwing June 25th out there as our move date. It has, more or less, officially changed. We are now planning on pulling out June 15th. That, my friends, is exactly 2 weeks from now!!  And I thought 3 weeks was freakin’ me out!


Storage unit is to be secured, since we aren’t moving the bulk of our stuff down until Justin joins me near the end of the summer (God willing). Then pack, pack, pack . . . clean, clean, clean.

My last day of school is June 5th, then each day is devoted to very little else, but packing. 🙂

Never know what God has in store. It feels discombobulated at times and I feel like one of the those race horses  with blinders to keep from seeing anything peripherally. Frustrating but it’s demanded of us, in these times, to trust God and keep walking towards HIM. Can’t go wrong with God! His peace has been all over this decision since the moment we recognized it . . . now, to just not freak out at the loose ends, that seem should be attached to something but they’re not; just dangling, but I know my God has it all under control . . . all those loose ends are in HIS hands.

God brings death and God brings life, brings down to the grave and raises up. God brings poverty and God brings wealth; he lowers, he also lifts up. He puts poor people on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, Restoring dignity and respect to their lives— a place in the sun! For the very structures of earth are God’s; he has laid out his operations on a firm foundation. He protectively cares for his faithful friends, step by step, but leaves the wicked to stumble in the dark. No one makes it in this life by sheer muscle!  1 Samuel 2:6-9

We like the mirage that we see, through the desert or our life . . . the mirage that we actually control of the fate of our lives. Honestly, you do the best you can with what is given to you and the rest is completely up to God. I have felt I deserved some bad repercussions in life, and there are times I’m distinctly aware that I do not deserve what I have and know God is the one to thank.

I choose, through this messy transition of life, to just rest in God, do what needs to be done to the best of my ability, and trust God . . . not my husband, not myself, not my friends or family . . . I know where my help comes from . . . God alone.

God, have your way and will in mine, and my family’s, life!


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Goldy Locks

I did it. I’ve been threatening for quite awhile. Dark red was getting dull and my natural color is light brown . . . longing to go closer to my natural color, with the idea of eventually growing it out, I took the plunge.

If you’ve dyed your hair red before, especially the darker varieties, you know how hard it is to get any other color without red in it. Red is not easy to get rid of, neither is it easy to cover up . . . unless you go jet black or something, then you have a whole other can of worms to deal with when you want to change it.

Oh, my sweet boy! 🙂 Ope, bad editing on this one, but you can tell its red and its dark red at that. We’ll ignore the extra 20 lbs I’m carrying around.

K, I’m not attempting a pouty face or any concoction thereof . . . Just snapped a photo and posted it. Gold. That is the color of my curly locks. Gold. I did this atrocity myself. Do I get an award?

Anyway, its so drastic and bright and . . . a drastic change from what I had before. People I know don’t even really know what to say. Which I don’t care because its not staying this color. I will give it a rest for a month or two and then highlight and dye it a softer color. Lots of red left in it. The underneath I left dark. Interesting is the only word I can conjure up. But not ugly . . . and people aren’t running from me screaming; which is what I was afraid of when I exited my house this morning to do the morning runs for school and such. 🙂

So that’s where we are people. There isn’t enough change and excitement happening in my little life, I just had to create more.

We are currently holding our collective breath, we should hear back regarding Justin’s dream job (which he had an interview for this past week) . . . if you think of us, shout out a prayer and send us Got-The-Job vibes! Much appreciated!

I have 3 weeks to pack and clean my home . . .

Getting a head start and getting it done. 🙂

Aaack! God is so good and I’m so excited for the near future! I had a call back about a job in Round Rock, TX. I’m hoping that goes through. All in God’s timing . . .



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May is Nearly OVER!

What?! Why didn’t anyone tell me? Holy crap!

Justin’s birthday is in 3 days . . . 3 DAYS! Mine is Thursday . . . I think . . . I haven’t been staring at a calendar today.

Most of all, we move in one month . . . like, 30 days! My panic button goes off around 2 – 4 AM and I ponder on all the packing and crap I have to get done before we move, for about 15 minutes, and then I wake up in the daylight and methodically go throughout my day. Today, because I don’t work, I have packed multiple boxes (thank you for the  boxes, Michaelle!) and paced my home, mentally making lists . . . which will work into written lists . . . which will then be misplaced and/or thrown away and then I’ll have to make another, more compiled list, then I will ignore it, it will also get forgotten . . . then Justin will get involved and have it all done (with my help, of course) in two days. The man is a think-on-his-feet packer extraordinaire! I have moved exactly 3 times with this man and I’m always impressed with his ability to pack and clean and paint the home we’re leaving. Yes, he fills holes and paints. We have always gotten our deposit back.

God is absolutely blowing me out of the water with HIS blessings . . . things are pulling together in a way that only God can do and coordinate . . . there is no doubt who gets the glory on this one! He has something for us down there and I’m excited to be serving HIM and walking with Him! Justin had a job interview for a very coveted position and it went very very well . . . we’ll hear back next Friday, so pray for us if you think of us!  I have been applying to RRISD and RHS and I’m hoping to hear back soon on those. God’s timing on it. I’m set up for Austin Community College . . . I’ll finalize enrollment and stuff when I get down there NEXT MONTH! :O

If I’ve learned anything in this life, its that we don’t deserve what we get . . . humble yourself to God, trust HIM and HE will see you through . . . in the valleys of life is where we grow up as we walk and trust HIM.

Philippians 4:7 MSG

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

. . . well said, Holy Bible!


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Sick as a Dog

I am now on my second day of missed work. I came down with a fever on Tuesday but went to work anyway; I downplayed it into just being under the weather, but by 4pm I was downing the ibuprofin and falling asleep involuntarily. Yesterday I called in and my supervisor assured me I wasn’t the first in the class to get it, that several teachers had been out, at different times, with the same junk and not to worry about coming in today either. Which is good because I still have a fever.

I have not been sick all winter and spring. So I chalk it up to it just being my turn and I’ll take it with a good attitude. This too shall pass . . . and hopefully by tomorrow, because I’m suppose to be there for the birth of my new nephew! Also Justin rolls in tomorrow. I’ve got a busy weekend . . . I don’t wanna be sick.

What was that about a good attitude?

I was kinda grumpy about having to go to work this week and now I’m stunned how much I miss being there! I can’t wait to go back on Monday!

So that’s my week in a nutshell.



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Popping In

I’m trying to neglect my blog . . . but its happened. 🙂

Plans were set and now they are in motion, I’m feeling the weight of Justin being in Seattle, while the boys and I are still in Salem. This morning it caught up with me and fell apart over the phone with Justin. In reality, it’s good to reach out to Justin, but . . . in another light, maybe God should be my first go-to. By the time I got through worship at church, I felt filled, settled and peaceful once again. There is something tangibly peaceful and hopeful about the presence of God and lifting Him up, even when I don’t really feel like it (i.e. this morning).

In other news, Justin’s new gig in Seattle is going swimmingly! I’ve been praying for the divine favor and grace of God on the whole thing . . . seems like God is really in this whole hair-brained scheme of ours (or His?).

The month of May. The month of waiting and fine-tuning of THE PLAN. May is my last month of work. May is the boys’ last month of school, roughly. It’s a month of waiting, but also of prayer and pulling our plan more together and coherent.  Tentatively we are planning on pulling out of here the end of June, the last week to be precise as possible. It’s also the month Justin and I, both, have our loverly birthdays. 🙂

Next weekend, my sisters are all going to be together, with my mom. Kelli, my eldest sis, is due any day (scheduled for Friday) and it will be a weekend of much celebration and joy! I haven’t seen my mom since last year . . . when they up and moved to Alabama. 🙂 Those crazy kids! 🙂  . . . Justin is also coming down this Friday and staying all weekend. I’m so happy about that, and that he gets to join me down in Eugene with the sistas. I’m sure he’s just as thrilled.

Anyway . .  . it’s going to be a good month. Just getting impatient about the move.

That’s whats going down right now. Just learning how to lean on God a bit harder; trust, trust trusting Him!



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I want things to come together TODAY.

Um, things are not going to be coming together today . . . things, as in school, work, life, moving. You know, life stuff.  They aren’t coming together today because today is Sunday. Sunday, a day of rest. Except Sunday does not look any different than any other day to me, except the attendance of church, especially when Justin works; which this is his weekend to work. Blech!

I’m restless, jittery and a tiny bit irritable . . . too much coffee might be to blame, but it’s also a culmination of life stuff that seems to be neither here nor there and my liking solid ground and solid plans for the near future.


The apartments we currently reside in, are low income apartments. We chose to move here 4 years ago while Justin attended school so we could actually afford rent while I stayed home to raise my babies. We were informed at our annual re-certification meeting that we now do not qualify to live here. We make too much to be considered low income. Granted, a lot of me is thrilled to hear this for so many reasons, a part of me realizes the task of finding a new place . . . and the fact we just don’t know where we ultimately want to live.

It’s basically boiling down to just moving closer to Portland and working out our lives here . . . but we have also tossed around notions of taking our little side-show to Austin, TX. Random? Maybe, but there are more schooling opportunities for Justin, and cheaper housing. Portland, OR housing is expensive, in regards to the median income of the area.

So, two months to get out of here. I’m shooting for March 1.

My Future.

Also, I’m done having kids. Done. So, I’m now looking at what I want to do with the rest of my life, now the boys aren’t taking over every second of day. I have huge gaps of time to fill and I find I’m filling them with nothing in particular. Kind of regretting not doing more over the past few years, to ready myself for some kind of job market . . . but the past is over and I can only do what is here and now. School is in my future, since I have no marketable skills. I’ve decided to get an associates in business and get licensed as a claims adjuster. I know, high hopes and dreams. But, honestly, the job sounds interesting and I will probably lean towards the investigator side of things, since that’s what interests me.

That mayhem will start by summer 2012.

I’m excited for our future but it feels daunting right now due to so many changes at one time. Thankfully Justin has a great, stable job that will work with him to obtain more schooling and training in his field of choice.

I haven’t considered myself, and what I want for quite a few years. In fact, it took Justin pointing it out very starkly, that I needed to really think about it and start moving towards my goals. I don’t think I’ve even set goals since babies . . . except clean house, exercise and get through each day. I’m grateful for those years; they shaped me and cemented who I am and my relationship with God grew stronger in that time.

So, that’s what’s running through my mind today. I want to go look at houses and go ahead and rent a place and start classes tomorrow; waiting and patience has never been a strong virtue of mine. But, all in God’s timing, so I’ll plan, scheme and make appointments to look at houses later in the week, today. 🙂

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Just My Randomness

Tobias. He is my first born.

The first child has a unique situation.  They are “only” children for a period of time, then a sibling, and then often a caretaker for the other siblings.   Because first borns are so important to how the family unit functions, they become accustomed to being the center of attention.  They tend to revel in the praise and attention they receive from parents before the other children arrive.   This does, however, cause a slight problem when a second child arrives and begins to steal the attention away from the first born.  They may feel unloved or rejected because the parents had another child.   Because of this, sometimes the first born will misbehave to receive attention, although some first borns choose to opt in the other direction- first borns will try to point out what makes them better, more interesting, smarter, etc., than the other children, in order to gain attention.  

The other children of the family usually look up to the first born as the natural leader.  Second, or middle children especially look to the first born for direction and guidance when they are out of it themselves.   Consequently, first borns often believe that they should gain and hold superiority over the other children.  They love to be right and hate to be contradicted.   Oldest children may show off their knowledge or abilities to other children or adults in order to gain appreciation, love and respect.  They are competent at an early age and may be responsible beyond their years.   In some cases, this causes the first born to grow up too quickly, which may affect them throughout their lives to come. 

Eldest children are usually socially dominant.  They are very driven and extremely conscientious.   Unfortunately, they may be less open to new ideas, prone to perfectionism and long to please people, which may be a result of losing both parents’ undivided attention at an early age.   To make up for this, first borns often work throughout their lives to regain their parents’ attention.   

When first borns do not achieve their goals, they often suffer from extreme guilt.  They feel as though they’ve failed themselves, their parents, and those around them.   They feel a loss of love from others when they’ve failed, whether or not that loss is actually there.  They also have a strong sense of justice which contributes to their feeling of guilt- they think that people should get what they deserve.   This makes it that much harder to convince a first born that failing at a project does not make them a bad person. 

Whether or not your child grows up with all of these personality traits, chances are good that they will retain some of them.   In order to protect your first born from some of the negative aspects of that birth order type, try not to ignore your first born once you’ve had another child.  Encourage your child to succeed, but don’t push them to hard.   Don’t give your first born too many responsibilities at a young age.  Remember that they are still just children and should still be treated as such! ~Found Here

“Tobias, you do not rule the world, yet,” I point out regularly. Everything from the music that’s playing to where we should turn while we’re driving . . . to bossing his brother around too much to what’s for dinner. I’m not very tolerant of it but understand in the same light. I have an older sister, the eldest. I get it. 🙂

Speaking of. Tob has decided that “dance music” is the best! Dance music consists of Daft Punk (the new Tron movie) and other related music. Deadmau5 is favorite of his. Thankfully there are no words, just hyped up industrial/techno style music. Unfortunately it is both energizing and tiring, in the same half an hour of listening. There is, in his mind, no other kind of music to love. I hope this passes. Daft Punk

So, thanks Pandora, for making this available at any moment in time. . . (slight sarcasm)

Samuel is the oldest kid in his preschool. His birthday is September 12 . . .  2 days after the cutoff for the public school system. I attempted many a phone call to get him into kindergarten but finally relented after reading an article (which I can’t find) stating it was better for boys to wait the extra year, than to start a tad early, with all the backup arguments, etc.  So he is getting another year of preschool. He gets bored with it but he will do so well kindergarten.

Sam has all but beat Sonic Colors for the Wii. Thank you, Granny, for sending that our way. 🙂

I’m learning to set limits on video games, since that is relatively new thing the kids are into. There are days that I know he plays waaaay too much; normally on vacation days and weekends. Between Daft Punk and Sonic Colors, I may end up in a prolonged seizure.

I’ve been painting like a mad man . . . or woman, whichever. I’ve painted some stuff I hate . . . and one or two that I really love. My walls are running out of space. Anyone want a  painting? 🙂 Here’s a couple that I found ‘hang-worthy’ . . .

This is one is my Mom’s. For her red bedroom. 🙂 I did a few clean ups on it since I took this photo. I’m liking it alright.

 This is one of my favorites. I want to take a course in painting. I know I’m still really really rough. Just remember I’ve only done a half dozen canvases. 🙂
This is one I wish I would’ve done on canvas . . . it’s on watercolor paper.
I just finished this purple on. I’ll probably go over and do little stuff to it but I’m really liking the colors. . .
That’s all. I tried my hand at a Koi, it turned alright . . . definitely one to practice and do on canvas eventually. I tried a butterfly wing. That was interesting and turned out like a kid might’ve been the artist. 🙂 One to play with though.
That’s a really vague update on us. Life keeps going. I’m learning to be grateful and content in the moment and shrug off resentment and bitterness. I really like getting my way but sometimes stuff just doesn’t turn out our way . . . trusting God to move us towards what He has for us.
Hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving! Time for Christmas! We go get our tree next weekend! Yay! Wow, that’s a lot of exclamation points. 🙂
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Going On Ten Years

There is something about going on ten years of marriage that makes me feel, deep inside, that I’ve earned some kind of right to have an opinion about marriage in general. My marriage, your marriage, everyone’s marriage.

Don’t get me wrong, I attempt not to judge.

But what gets me is the cutesie lines and attitudes surrounding marriage . . . especially that gooey stuff that oozes from newlyweds and the soon-to-be-married crowd.

I know what you’re thinking . . .,”Ope, she’s becoming a cynic.”

But I’m not . . . I choose to call myself a realist. 🙂

To think each day is going to be wedded bliss is a myth, based in complete fantasy. There are days that I would like to do nothing more than strangle the man beside me. There are little and big things that bug me to no end and, when they happen, I feel the nails-on-chalk board effect. Depending on my horomonal state, sometimes it’s more pronounce than other times. 🙂

Hello . . . is that hard to call me back when you’re at work? I think not! 🙂 I shall then pop my knuckles in your presence, which I’m fully aware drives you nuts. I love you that much.

But, what I’ve learned, is that you hang in, you keep forgiving and those moments of murderous intent pass and you come to a better place . . . a stronger place. Somehow, learning to love your partner through the poop actually makes you love him more. Even if the poop was something of his making.

Ok, a little stinky around here . . .

I recently became a member of Pinterest. It is a treasure trove; a collection of creative and witty ideas and saying and photos and art and stuff. It’s also a trove of interesting ideas and people’s weirdness, collected for the world to view. I love it.

To get this out of the way . . . Hi, my name is MotherTucker and I am weird. I do not doubt this character trait in myself. I also like to lose myself in the fantasy that life is grand and always will be. But I know where reality lies and I am grounded there.

I was going to go into an elaborate example of sayings that made me want to puke in my shoe, via pinterest and other avenues. Such as the “fun wife” one that keeps floating around, with the nerf gun and the note to the hubby that just came home. Yeah, I can’t find it, ok. Something about being the “fun wife” just annoys me. Like being your kid’s “best friend”, or the “cool mom”. All annoy me. I see marriage as a job, as much as it is a romance. Be punctual, be on task and never take it for granted; the paychecks will keep coming.

Some of the ones I have found on Pinterest are so great! Shmooshy, but great! 🙂

Three of my favorite sayings thus far.

I have been absolutely blessed with a great guy. One that takes care of my feelings and cares what I think. I know not everyone is as lucky. If ten years has gone by and I feel more admiration than annoyance . . . for me, that is great! I can claim I’m still in love with the man I walk hand in hand with . . . not bad, I’m tellin’ ya.

I like the reality of our relationship more than the fantasy I had when we first hooked up. Truly I do. It is real, not a bunch of hot air. There is substance and true support. No empty promises, but honest intention; with no need to impress.

My prayer is, our relationship just grows stronger, deeper and more real with the decades that pass. Thankful God has blessed us so much thus far!!

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