Tag Archives: God

Choice

We only realize the power of the moral law when it comes with an “if.” God never coerces us. In one mood we wish He would make us do the thing, and in another mood we wish He would leave us alone. Whenever God’s will is in the ascendant, all compulsion is gone. When we choose deliberately to obey Him, then He will tax the remotest star and the last grain of sand to assist us with all His almighty power.

~Oswald Chambers

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Fast Moving

I was hired nearly three weeks ago, for a preschool (that runs on the same schedule as the local school districts) and I was, initially, told that I’d be starting August 15th. Then the gal that hired  me decided she wanted to put me through teacher training, so I was told July 30th would be my start date. . . then she had a problem getting that signed off on, so it went back to August 15th; until this week . . . now the training bit has been signed off on (a tad more complicated than my simple rendition) and I’m to start Monday. Yikes . . . talk about puttin’ it into gear! But, I’m extremely grateful . . . I get to come in as a full time teacher, whilst earning my CDA, and benefit from the two week teacher training to boot.

Grateful, excited, nervous and scared . . .  all at the same time. And I’m learning to just hand it over to an ever-faithful God. 🙂 Amazing how he dolls out efficient amounts of grace for what we are handed to do each day. Look to Him and trust Him and the peace, understanding and love of God will be a mainstay in my life . . . Truth.

Today I go in to turn in some stuff and get the ball rolling for the payroll end of things . . . I take off here in a few minutes.

Whisper a prayer for me in my new endeavor . . . one I hope to make a lifetime career of influencing and teaching young children.

 

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Set a Date

We had tentatively been throwing June 25th out there as our move date. It has, more or less, officially changed. We are now planning on pulling out June 15th. That, my friends, is exactly 2 weeks from now!!  And I thought 3 weeks was freakin’ me out!

Anyway.

Storage unit is to be secured, since we aren’t moving the bulk of our stuff down until Justin joins me near the end of the summer (God willing). Then pack, pack, pack . . . clean, clean, clean.

My last day of school is June 5th, then each day is devoted to very little else, but packing. 🙂

Never know what God has in store. It feels discombobulated at times and I feel like one of the those race horses  with blinders to keep from seeing anything peripherally. Frustrating but it’s demanded of us, in these times, to trust God and keep walking towards HIM. Can’t go wrong with God! His peace has been all over this decision since the moment we recognized it . . . now, to just not freak out at the loose ends, that seem should be attached to something but they’re not; just dangling, but I know my God has it all under control . . . all those loose ends are in HIS hands.

God brings death and God brings life, brings down to the grave and raises up. God brings poverty and God brings wealth; he lowers, he also lifts up. He puts poor people on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, Restoring dignity and respect to their lives— a place in the sun! For the very structures of earth are God’s; he has laid out his operations on a firm foundation. He protectively cares for his faithful friends, step by step, but leaves the wicked to stumble in the dark. No one makes it in this life by sheer muscle!  1 Samuel 2:6-9

We like the mirage that we see, through the desert or our life . . . the mirage that we actually control of the fate of our lives. Honestly, you do the best you can with what is given to you and the rest is completely up to God. I have felt I deserved some bad repercussions in life, and there are times I’m distinctly aware that I do not deserve what I have and know God is the one to thank.

I choose, through this messy transition of life, to just rest in God, do what needs to be done to the best of my ability, and trust God . . . not my husband, not myself, not my friends or family . . . I know where my help comes from . . . God alone.

God, have your way and will in mine, and my family’s, life!

 

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May is Nearly OVER!

What?! Why didn’t anyone tell me? Holy crap!

Justin’s birthday is in 3 days . . . 3 DAYS! Mine is Thursday . . . I think . . . I haven’t been staring at a calendar today.

Most of all, we move in one month . . . like, 30 days! My panic button goes off around 2 – 4 AM and I ponder on all the packing and crap I have to get done before we move, for about 15 minutes, and then I wake up in the daylight and methodically go throughout my day. Today, because I don’t work, I have packed multiple boxes (thank you for the  boxes, Michaelle!) and paced my home, mentally making lists . . . which will work into written lists . . . which will then be misplaced and/or thrown away and then I’ll have to make another, more compiled list, then I will ignore it, it will also get forgotten . . . then Justin will get involved and have it all done (with my help, of course) in two days. The man is a think-on-his-feet packer extraordinaire! I have moved exactly 3 times with this man and I’m always impressed with his ability to pack and clean and paint the home we’re leaving. Yes, he fills holes and paints. We have always gotten our deposit back.

God is absolutely blowing me out of the water with HIS blessings . . . things are pulling together in a way that only God can do and coordinate . . . there is no doubt who gets the glory on this one! He has something for us down there and I’m excited to be serving HIM and walking with Him! Justin had a job interview for a very coveted position and it went very very well . . . we’ll hear back next Friday, so pray for us if you think of us!  I have been applying to RRISD and RHS and I’m hoping to hear back soon on those. God’s timing on it. I’m set up for Austin Community College . . . I’ll finalize enrollment and stuff when I get down there NEXT MONTH! :O

If I’ve learned anything in this life, its that we don’t deserve what we get . . . humble yourself to God, trust HIM and HE will see you through . . . in the valleys of life is where we grow up as we walk and trust HIM.

Philippians 4:7 MSG

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

. . . well said, Holy Bible!

🙂

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Truth

Matthew 5 (Message Bible)

You’re Blessed

 1-2 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:

 3“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

 4“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

 5“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.

 6“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.

 7“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.

 8“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

 9“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

 10“You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.

 11-12“Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

These verses struck me this morning. Thought I’d share them. Most of it is everyday, walking out of my faith. Just fantastic reminders! 🙂

 

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Discontent

I have found myself in major discontent lately . . . lately = the last year or so. Some things didn’t go our way; the way we perceived they were suppose to go. I didn’t know I was letting it in . . . or maybe I did. But I slowly, instead of listening and obeying God, drew away from Him. I’m attempting to get my act together . . . to focus my eyes back on what and who matters . . . living a life conscious only of Him; letting the chips fall where they will, in life.

He’s met me. Despite my stupid mess-ups and continuing struggle to get right with Him and walk solidly in Him; learning to rest in Him . . . But I’m incapable of doing it on my own.

Oswald Chambers

Whenever anything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once and ask Him to establish rest.  Never allow anything to remain which is making the dis-peace. Take every element of disintegration as something to wrestle against, and not to suffer.  Say – Lord, prove Thy consciousness in me, and self-consciousness will go and He will be all in all. Beware of allowing self-consciousness to continue because by slow degrees it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is Satanic. Well, I am not understood; this is a thing they ought to apologize for; that is a point I really must have cleared up. Leave others alone and ask the Lord to give you Christ-consciousness, and He will poise you until the completeness is absolute.

The complete life is the life of a child. When I am consciously conscious, there is something wrong. It is the sick man who knows what health is. The child of God is not conscious of the will of God because he is the will of God. When there has been the slightest deviation from the will of God, we begin to ask – What is Thy will? A child of God never prays to be conscious that God answers prayer, he is so restfully certain that God always does answer prayer.

If we try to overcome self-consciousness by any common-sense method, we will develop it tremendously. Jesus says, “Come unto Me and I will give you rest,” i.e., Christ-consciousness will take the place of self-consciousness. Wherever Jesus comes He establishes rest, the rest of the perfection of activity that is never conscious of itself. 

That was my devotional this morning. Yep, still reading good ol’Oswald . . . so much rich treasure there! I’m still unearthing it. Hope this tidbit helps someone who needs to hear it, like I did this morning! 🙂

Anyhow . . . hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

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Getting Over Myself

So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. ~2 Corinthians 3:16-18

Being reminded today that God is worth every bit of struggle and sacrifice . . . that HE is for me, not against me. Faithful God!!

Life doesn’t always take the turns and exit ramps that we would prefer, or that we see fit for the situation. We don’t have to understand everything that is going on . . . but we do need to trust in God. I need to learn to give it over to HIM . . . stop fretting, stop this ridiculous pessimism. Hope, Faith and Love . . . infused by HIS Holy Spirit!

 

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Burning in my Soul

Calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?

Mark 8:34-37 (The Message Bible)

In a society of “me time” and “self-help” . . . taking care of #1 (yourself). It is quite the contradictory word above.

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Lies

One of the biggest things I struggle with, in my walk with God, is feelings of worthlessness. So many faults, so little patience and grace with myself . . . surely God gets just as fed up as I do with my many hang-ups and shortcomings. At some point I just expect him to write me off. How does a perfectly holy God deal with my spineless junk?

This is weird, really, because I’ve never had anyone close  to me decide I wasn’t worth it and just write me off . . . send me packing. Later Gator. My parents have always been supportive and loving, my husband is amazingly loving and supportive; always shoving in my face how I’m short-changing myself consistently. If anything, Justin sees more potential than shortcomings.

This past year, it really ate at me. I let go of my personal time with God because it was littered so heavily with this gnawing thought pattern of worthlessness . . . and it’s slowly gone down hill since. I was tired of attempting to be perfect, to earn my badge of spirituality and righteousness through my own ability. There was a side of me that, I think, believed I had earned what little spirituality I had erected around me . . . if that makes sense. A type of entitlement to the relationship I did have with God. Well, that required an amazing amount of upkeep. And an amazing amount of scrutinizing those around me for not doing the same.

T.I.R.I.N.G.

Even now I want to take credit in learning these lessons . . . but in reality it is all by THE GRACE OF GOD. All of it. No way can we open our own spiritual eyes to Him and His truth . . .He does it. We make ourselves willing . . . we face Him and walk towards Him perhaps, but He does the rest. Even the facing Him part . . . He prompts that, His blood created a way. If He hadn’t died on that cross and rose from that grave, we couldn’t even glance at Him without dying of shame.

Instead, we get to see the shame . . . it’s backside as it’s hurled as far as the east is from the west . . . repenting before Him.

I asked God to take that nasty deep dark lie of worthlessness and hurl it. Where it came from I don’t know AND I don’t give donkey’s back-end. I just know I can’t worship Him in truth or talk to Him freely with it yapping and taking up space between God and I.

A weight has been lifted. A sigh of relief has been exhaled. Tears have washed my eyes.

I feel hopeful for the first time in over a year. Hopeful that I am worth it. But more importantly . . . God is worth it. Worth pushing through. Worth the effort.

The one thing I can say. There is nothing in this world or the next, that satisfies, that finds those deep down connecting fibers and replenishes fully, like our God. Peace, Hope and Love . . . the three most important aspects written about in the New Testament. Love being the upmost important.

So if you’re struggling with worthlessness . . . you see ALL your shortcomings, instead of the sheer grace and mercy of our God. Stop there, ask God to take that shame and then praise Him for the sacrifice He has already made . . . praise Him for the freedom given and then keep thanking Him, keep praising Him, keep learning about Him . . . walking with Him daily. There you will find that highly sought after peace, hope and love.

And remember, there is no condemnation, but conviction. God wants to be close to you, wants what’s best for you . . . keep that in mind in the gentle convictions of His spirit. Overwhelming shame and condemnation is not how I’ve found He works . . . seek Him, know Him, worship Him and listen to that still small voice. You will be better for it!

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Stories

How crazy are dreams? I’ve kept from dreaming anything past what I’m going to accomplish for a particular day, for too long now. I’ve let go of a lot of what I used to dream about.

I’d like to start dreaming again . . . infusing vision into my life; surely that’s better than drowning in the blankness I’m finding myself in more and more.

I start school in the fall. Part time. My dream, my hope, for that endeavor is writing . . . whether or not that includes a degree is yet to be seen, but I could definitely improve!

I want to get back into running seriously . . . I slacked after hurting my knee a few years ago and kinda gave up.

Those are the two dreams that come to mind. Small but achievable!

Most of all, I want God to be the center of it all . . . the center of my story!

Have you stopped dreaming?

What are some of your dreams . . . no matter how small or big?

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