Category Archives: me

Good Tuesday Morning!

The title sounds much more enthusiastic than I feel.

I had the flu the week of Christmas. It lasted the entire week of Christmas and into the following week. Now a very obnoxious, very deep cough is left over. Antibiotics did nothing. So I’m thinking its either going to heal itself, eventually, or it’s what the locals call Cedar Fever. Which is the allergic reaction to the pollinating Cedar trees around these here parts. When I get paid, Friday, I’ll invest in some more meds . . . this time antihistamines. We’ll see…

Christmas was fantastic this year. After the sticker-shock of the live Christmas tree, that looks like an actual Christmas tree, we decorated with homemade ornaments. The boys and I had a blast making ornaments; all of our Christmas decorations are still in Oregon.

Oh, did I mention we haven’t moved our things down yet? 😦 The plan is Justin is going down the third weekend, or so, of January to retrieve our belongings, including his car that is sitting idle at our friend’s house. We’ll see if we can swing that financially and time-wise.

Work is going good. I have never been in a teacher position before and I’m enjoying it, and the kids. This week is the first week I planned and implemented all by my lonesome. Ok, not totally by myself . . . my co-teacher answers all my retarded questions and still has to tell me where to find certain items. But, mostly by myself . . . more by myself than ever before, in this position. 🙂  I’m going to start school, but I missed this term . . . apparently, here in the great state of Texas, they have two terms. I’m used to a tri-mester situation, where if I don’t have all my ducks in a row for winter term, I can attend spring term. I don’t have all my ducks in a row. Nope. Including not being a Texas citizen for over 6 months, so tuition is ridiculous. Fall term is probably when I’ll start.

Justin’s off in Florida for training for his new job. Hyperbaric Chamber Tech. Very exciting stuff.

Boys are enjoying school. I signed them up for winter basketball league. That  starts today. Tobias is apprehensive. In the last few months I’ve noticed him being a tad shy of new things and situations. He loves basketball though and I’m trusting he’ll be just fine.

And, its now 2013. Crazy town! I look forward to going back to school and, God willing, buying a house come fall/winter, and just making our home here in the Austin area.

Off to make new adventures today!



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May is Nearly OVER!

What?! Why didn’t anyone tell me? Holy crap!

Justin’s birthday is in 3 days . . . 3 DAYS! Mine is Thursday . . . I think . . . I haven’t been staring at a calendar today.

Most of all, we move in one month . . . like, 30 days! My panic button goes off around 2 – 4 AM and I ponder on all the packing and crap I have to get done before we move, for about 15 minutes, and then I wake up in the daylight and methodically go throughout my day. Today, because I don’t work, I have packed multiple boxes (thank you for the  boxes, Michaelle!) and paced my home, mentally making lists . . . which will work into written lists . . . which will then be misplaced and/or thrown away and then I’ll have to make another, more compiled list, then I will ignore it, it will also get forgotten . . . then Justin will get involved and have it all done (with my help, of course) in two days. The man is a think-on-his-feet packer extraordinaire! I have moved exactly 3 times with this man and I’m always impressed with his ability to pack and clean and paint the home we’re leaving. Yes, he fills holes and paints. We have always gotten our deposit back.

God is absolutely blowing me out of the water with HIS blessings . . . things are pulling together in a way that only God can do and coordinate . . . there is no doubt who gets the glory on this one! He has something for us down there and I’m excited to be serving HIM and walking with Him! Justin had a job interview for a very coveted position and it went very very well . . . we’ll hear back next Friday, so pray for us if you think of us!  I have been applying to RRISD and RHS and I’m hoping to hear back soon on those. God’s timing on it. I’m set up for Austin Community College . . . I’ll finalize enrollment and stuff when I get down there NEXT MONTH! :O

If I’ve learned anything in this life, its that we don’t deserve what we get . . . humble yourself to God, trust HIM and HE will see you through . . . in the valleys of life is where we grow up as we walk and trust HIM.

Philippians 4:7 MSG

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

. . . well said, Holy Bible!


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I want things to come together TODAY.

Um, things are not going to be coming together today . . . things, as in school, work, life, moving. You know, life stuff.  They aren’t coming together today because today is Sunday. Sunday, a day of rest. Except Sunday does not look any different than any other day to me, except the attendance of church, especially when Justin works; which this is his weekend to work. Blech!

I’m restless, jittery and a tiny bit irritable . . . too much coffee might be to blame, but it’s also a culmination of life stuff that seems to be neither here nor there and my liking solid ground and solid plans for the near future.


The apartments we currently reside in, are low income apartments. We chose to move here 4 years ago while Justin attended school so we could actually afford rent while I stayed home to raise my babies. We were informed at our annual re-certification meeting that we now do not qualify to live here. We make too much to be considered low income. Granted, a lot of me is thrilled to hear this for so many reasons, a part of me realizes the task of finding a new place . . . and the fact we just don’t know where we ultimately want to live.

It’s basically boiling down to just moving closer to Portland and working out our lives here . . . but we have also tossed around notions of taking our little side-show to Austin, TX. Random? Maybe, but there are more schooling opportunities for Justin, and cheaper housing. Portland, OR housing is expensive, in regards to the median income of the area.

So, two months to get out of here. I’m shooting for March 1.

My Future.

Also, I’m done having kids. Done. So, I’m now looking at what I want to do with the rest of my life, now the boys aren’t taking over every second of day. I have huge gaps of time to fill and I find I’m filling them with nothing in particular. Kind of regretting not doing more over the past few years, to ready myself for some kind of job market . . . but the past is over and I can only do what is here and now. School is in my future, since I have no marketable skills. I’ve decided to get an associates in business and get licensed as a claims adjuster. I know, high hopes and dreams. But, honestly, the job sounds interesting and I will probably lean towards the investigator side of things, since that’s what interests me.

That mayhem will start by summer 2012.

I’m excited for our future but it feels daunting right now due to so many changes at one time. Thankfully Justin has a great, stable job that will work with him to obtain more schooling and training in his field of choice.

I haven’t considered myself, and what I want for quite a few years. In fact, it took Justin pointing it out very starkly, that I needed to really think about it and start moving towards my goals. I don’t think I’ve even set goals since babies . . . except clean house, exercise and get through each day. I’m grateful for those years; they shaped me and cemented who I am and my relationship with God grew stronger in that time.

So, that’s what’s running through my mind today. I want to go look at houses and go ahead and rent a place and start classes tomorrow; waiting and patience has never been a strong virtue of mine. But, all in God’s timing, so I’ll plan, scheme and make appointments to look at houses later in the week, today. 🙂

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Laughing . . . The Best Medicine

I know I tout cookies as the cure-all, but one things beats the pants off  cookies for solving so many woes . . . laughter.

I saw the sun peak out this morning. That is saying something, considering we live in cloudy-ville USA (Western Oregon). In a complete frenzy, I dress my nearly naked tots and cram them, the dog and myself in the truck and head for the nearby park. It was 8:45AM. 🙂

Good thing I used my super-senses, knowing the sun wouldn’t last, and took action immediately . . . in less than an hour, clouds had invaded and completely covered the sky. Being a balmy 35 degrees when the sun is out, well that is bearable. 35 degrees when the sun is blanketed by clouds, not so much.

But, in that hour, Byron chased the frisbee, I walked, Tobias rode his scooter and Sam the big wheel. Then the boys started playing and I realized they were referring to each other as Agent T and Agent S. Apparently I’m raising the youngest secret agents ever. I think they were for the same agency, though I’m not sure . . . there was a lot of chasing and fighting, so maybe not.

This obsession with secret agents, and spies, was brought to us by the movie, Cars 2 . . . and by the program Phineas and Ferb (Agent P).

I love taking a hot coffee with me when I go to the park . . . whether it be 8:45AM (so justifiable) or 5:00PM (addiction much) . . . cold days at the park = hot coffee in the to-go mug. mmmm, coffee sounds good right now. Speaking of, I ended up with StumpTown Coffee and a cool new mug for Christmas, via the gift exchange at my sister’s house.

Stoneware mug from Tiffany. Perfect vessel for my addiction. 😉

I was using this . . .

Aaaand, the camera focused on the fish bowl, ok, forgive the fuzzy mugs. I’m spilling waaay less now . . . and, I don’t get funny looks from people, in July, for using a Christmas themed mug. Yeah, I’m cheap like that. 🙂 Though I still might get funny looks for clinging to a coffee mug at 5pm at the park, though I don’t notice because I’m too busy sipping that hot coffee and snuggling down in my thick, Michelin Man coat to ward off the freezingness of freezing land.

I don’t know if this has been the case all along and I’m just now noticing it, but does it appear lately that people will go to the dog park, the kid park, or any outdoor venue . . . where you will remain, well, outside . . . and be wearing minimal winter clothing, i.e sweatshirts and jeans. I have found myself suddenly self conscious about being over-dressed for the out of doors. Yet, if I spend any time watching these people that, at first, seem to have a high pain threshold, I realize they have spasms of furiously rubbing their hands together and  periodically shoving them deep in their jean pockets before the tips of their fingers relent and fall off due to frost bite. If you know its going to be cold, isn’t better to over-dress than to stand their and nearly freeze to death? I’m all Michelin Man coat (puff coat), mittens, scarf, sweatshirt, sometimes a hat, and fuzzy boots, if its anywhere under 40 degrees. But then, I don’t think I was designed to live in cold regions. I wish I was, I love the mountains, but alas, I am not.

Welp, this post ranges right in the norm for randomness that I am . . . Happy New Year, again, and have a great week!


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Just My Randomness

Tobias. He is my first born.

The first child has a unique situation.  They are “only” children for a period of time, then a sibling, and then often a caretaker for the other siblings.   Because first borns are so important to how the family unit functions, they become accustomed to being the center of attention.  They tend to revel in the praise and attention they receive from parents before the other children arrive.   This does, however, cause a slight problem when a second child arrives and begins to steal the attention away from the first born.  They may feel unloved or rejected because the parents had another child.   Because of this, sometimes the first born will misbehave to receive attention, although some first borns choose to opt in the other direction- first borns will try to point out what makes them better, more interesting, smarter, etc., than the other children, in order to gain attention.  

The other children of the family usually look up to the first born as the natural leader.  Second, or middle children especially look to the first born for direction and guidance when they are out of it themselves.   Consequently, first borns often believe that they should gain and hold superiority over the other children.  They love to be right and hate to be contradicted.   Oldest children may show off their knowledge or abilities to other children or adults in order to gain appreciation, love and respect.  They are competent at an early age and may be responsible beyond their years.   In some cases, this causes the first born to grow up too quickly, which may affect them throughout their lives to come. 

Eldest children are usually socially dominant.  They are very driven and extremely conscientious.   Unfortunately, they may be less open to new ideas, prone to perfectionism and long to please people, which may be a result of losing both parents’ undivided attention at an early age.   To make up for this, first borns often work throughout their lives to regain their parents’ attention.   

When first borns do not achieve their goals, they often suffer from extreme guilt.  They feel as though they’ve failed themselves, their parents, and those around them.   They feel a loss of love from others when they’ve failed, whether or not that loss is actually there.  They also have a strong sense of justice which contributes to their feeling of guilt- they think that people should get what they deserve.   This makes it that much harder to convince a first born that failing at a project does not make them a bad person. 

Whether or not your child grows up with all of these personality traits, chances are good that they will retain some of them.   In order to protect your first born from some of the negative aspects of that birth order type, try not to ignore your first born once you’ve had another child.  Encourage your child to succeed, but don’t push them to hard.   Don’t give your first born too many responsibilities at a young age.  Remember that they are still just children and should still be treated as such! ~Found Here

“Tobias, you do not rule the world, yet,” I point out regularly. Everything from the music that’s playing to where we should turn while we’re driving . . . to bossing his brother around too much to what’s for dinner. I’m not very tolerant of it but understand in the same light. I have an older sister, the eldest. I get it. 🙂

Speaking of. Tob has decided that “dance music” is the best! Dance music consists of Daft Punk (the new Tron movie) and other related music. Deadmau5 is favorite of his. Thankfully there are no words, just hyped up industrial/techno style music. Unfortunately it is both energizing and tiring, in the same half an hour of listening. There is, in his mind, no other kind of music to love. I hope this passes. Daft Punk

So, thanks Pandora, for making this available at any moment in time. . . (slight sarcasm)

Samuel is the oldest kid in his preschool. His birthday is September 12 . . .  2 days after the cutoff for the public school system. I attempted many a phone call to get him into kindergarten but finally relented after reading an article (which I can’t find) stating it was better for boys to wait the extra year, than to start a tad early, with all the backup arguments, etc.  So he is getting another year of preschool. He gets bored with it but he will do so well kindergarten.

Sam has all but beat Sonic Colors for the Wii. Thank you, Granny, for sending that our way. 🙂

I’m learning to set limits on video games, since that is relatively new thing the kids are into. There are days that I know he plays waaaay too much; normally on vacation days and weekends. Between Daft Punk and Sonic Colors, I may end up in a prolonged seizure.

I’ve been painting like a mad man . . . or woman, whichever. I’ve painted some stuff I hate . . . and one or two that I really love. My walls are running out of space. Anyone want a  painting? 🙂 Here’s a couple that I found ‘hang-worthy’ . . .

This is one is my Mom’s. For her red bedroom. 🙂 I did a few clean ups on it since I took this photo. I’m liking it alright.

 This is one of my favorites. I want to take a course in painting. I know I’m still really really rough. Just remember I’ve only done a half dozen canvases. 🙂
This is one I wish I would’ve done on canvas . . . it’s on watercolor paper.
I just finished this purple on. I’ll probably go over and do little stuff to it but I’m really liking the colors. . .
That’s all. I tried my hand at a Koi, it turned alright . . . definitely one to practice and do on canvas eventually. I tried a butterfly wing. That was interesting and turned out like a kid might’ve been the artist. 🙂 One to play with though.
That’s a really vague update on us. Life keeps going. I’m learning to be grateful and content in the moment and shrug off resentment and bitterness. I really like getting my way but sometimes stuff just doesn’t turn out our way . . . trusting God to move us towards what He has for us.
Hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving! Time for Christmas! We go get our tree next weekend! Yay! Wow, that’s a lot of exclamation points. 🙂
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Going On Ten Years

There is something about going on ten years of marriage that makes me feel, deep inside, that I’ve earned some kind of right to have an opinion about marriage in general. My marriage, your marriage, everyone’s marriage.

Don’t get me wrong, I attempt not to judge.

But what gets me is the cutesie lines and attitudes surrounding marriage . . . especially that gooey stuff that oozes from newlyweds and the soon-to-be-married crowd.

I know what you’re thinking . . .,”Ope, she’s becoming a cynic.”

But I’m not . . . I choose to call myself a realist. 🙂

To think each day is going to be wedded bliss is a myth, based in complete fantasy. There are days that I would like to do nothing more than strangle the man beside me. There are little and big things that bug me to no end and, when they happen, I feel the nails-on-chalk board effect. Depending on my horomonal state, sometimes it’s more pronounce than other times. 🙂

Hello . . . is that hard to call me back when you’re at work? I think not! 🙂 I shall then pop my knuckles in your presence, which I’m fully aware drives you nuts. I love you that much.

But, what I’ve learned, is that you hang in, you keep forgiving and those moments of murderous intent pass and you come to a better place . . . a stronger place. Somehow, learning to love your partner through the poop actually makes you love him more. Even if the poop was something of his making.

Ok, a little stinky around here . . .

I recently became a member of Pinterest. It is a treasure trove; a collection of creative and witty ideas and saying and photos and art and stuff. It’s also a trove of interesting ideas and people’s weirdness, collected for the world to view. I love it.

To get this out of the way . . . Hi, my name is MotherTucker and I am weird. I do not doubt this character trait in myself. I also like to lose myself in the fantasy that life is grand and always will be. But I know where reality lies and I am grounded there.

I was going to go into an elaborate example of sayings that made me want to puke in my shoe, via pinterest and other avenues. Such as the “fun wife” one that keeps floating around, with the nerf gun and the note to the hubby that just came home. Yeah, I can’t find it, ok. Something about being the “fun wife” just annoys me. Like being your kid’s “best friend”, or the “cool mom”. All annoy me. I see marriage as a job, as much as it is a romance. Be punctual, be on task and never take it for granted; the paychecks will keep coming.

Some of the ones I have found on Pinterest are so great! Shmooshy, but great! 🙂

Three of my favorite sayings thus far.

I have been absolutely blessed with a great guy. One that takes care of my feelings and cares what I think. I know not everyone is as lucky. If ten years has gone by and I feel more admiration than annoyance . . . for me, that is great! I can claim I’m still in love with the man I walk hand in hand with . . . not bad, I’m tellin’ ya.

I like the reality of our relationship more than the fantasy I had when we first hooked up. Truly I do. It is real, not a bunch of hot air. There is substance and true support. No empty promises, but honest intention; with no need to impress.

My prayer is, our relationship just grows stronger, deeper and more real with the decades that pass. Thankful God has blessed us so much thus far!!

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Random Thoughts

Nothing really all that new in Tucker-Land.

The boys are my occupation. Painting my hobby. God my everything.

Justin’s day off is today. He is sick with a cold and has appeared once this morning to eat breakfast and disappeared back to bed. He has been sleeping since. I feel really bad for him. It has been a relatively rough week.

Have I mentioned feeling enormously blessed for the opportunity to be home. At times I feel alone but, mostly, I create my home to be our family’s haven and that is what I love! I’m doing what I love. How many people can claim that?

It doesn’t mean that’s all I’ll ever do, but, for now, it is. 🙂

God’s mercy just about makes my head explode, trying to fathom it. Grateful today (and everyday) for HIS great mercy and love!

I found Pandora. I’ve known it’s there but haven’t used it much. Our Blu-Ray player has it readily available. Jesus Culture radio is currently my favorite . . . though it ends up on Daft Punk because Tobias can’t get enough of the beats. ‘Dance music’ as he calls it. Daft Punk = Good housecleaning music and Good running music. Just in case you were curious.

I’m out of canvas and must replace it soon or I will go crazy.

I have 4 weeks left of p90x. We took a 10 day break due to my friend injuring herself . . .um, doing P90X. Eeks. Anyway . . . we’re back at it and it hurts so good!

I miss my mom and dad . . . they live in Madison, Alabama now. Not Pasco, WA, 4 hours to the NE of us. Time to look into airline tickets.

My wonderful and dear friend and sister, Tiffany, her husband and son, all came to visit last Friday. We ate our fill of lobster and seafood Linguine. Justin made it and it was gooood! Awesome to see her . . . wish we lived closer to them. Maybe one day. You never know.

So, that is about it. Crossing my fingers that I don’t pick up someone’s cold.

Have a great week!


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Didn’t Sound Bad

I haven’t had a cavity filled since I was, like, 10 years old or so. I forgot how crappy it was. Glad to be able to have the proper dental work done (finally have insurance) but I like the after, not the during. Drills: the noise alone freaks me out, though I lay perfectly still my whole body is rigid with anticipation for the shock of nerve endings being prodded. Which didn’t happen but, still, the anticipation for over an hour is nearly as bad.

Speaking of nerve endings . . . whilst getting the shot to numb half my face, the dentist hit a nerve that shot shock waves through the front of my gum and down into my lips. I winced bad on that one . . . he apologized but said that does numb faster when he manages to get that close the nerves. That was the most painful thing that happened during the whole thing . . . the rest of it was just anxiety. 🙂

I’ve had my face numbed before and I don’t ever remember that happening. So, hopefully, it doesn’t . . . EVER again. I have 2 more appointments to cover all the cavities I’ve managed to accumulate in the last 24 years. Yeah, I’m just that good.

Anyway, hangin’ with my good friend Kacy this afternoon and then heading home, courtesy of my awesome brother, Bill. Family rocks!!

I’ve enjoyed my weekend!! My sis, Kelli, put us up and treated us the whole time we were here. My boys only drove her crazy a half dozen times or so . . . she’s 3 months prego  . . . if I were 3 months prego, I would of tempted to put them in a crate with food and water for the day. Hence the reason we are stopping at 2 munchkins. 🙂

Ready to head home though. Justin gets home Thursday and I am overly excited to see him!!

‘Here’s the kids, I have to take a day to myself!’ . . . ‘Aren’t you glad you’re home, sweety?’



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Some Weekend Fun

I’m a homebody, for the most part.

This weekend, though, I’m packing up and heading to my sister’s house. She has kindly opened a spare bedroom to me and the boys. Tentative plans are for the pumpkin patch tomorrow and, solid plans for the dentist Monday morning.

I’m always hesitant to leave home. Not panic hesitant, just mildly. I think I’ve texted her about half a dozen times with worry questions and concerns we were busying her weekend too much and what groceries to bring . . . etc.

Updated ****

I had to stop writing earlier to get ready to leave . . .  and take care of my boys that were bickering in the other room. Ah, reality.

So, now I’m sitting on my sis’ couch, watching CSI Miami and typing here. My sis is 3 months prego and has had a busy day, so she’s off to bed. I’m going to Alton Baker Park, old stomping grounds for my jogging ventures . . . they have some of the best trails systems ever! Also there is a dog park, a big loverly dog park and Byron will mistake it for heaven . . . so, that’s my plan in the morning. The afternoon we are all headed to the pumpkin patch, which should be a blast! Megan and Bill plan to join us at Lone Pine Farms. I’m thrilled to be around my family!

That’s the plan man. Thats the story morning glory.

And that is all.


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Speaking of Reminiscing

My old-timer Mac computer had to be rebuilt last year . . . therefor everything that was on it prior to that fateful day was erased, including loads of photos. Good thing Justin never lets me erase the memory cards for my camera.

That’s right, I have good stack of memory cards from yesteryear hanging out on my bookshelf. We buy a new memory card everytime it fills up. Now I’m happy we did that . . . oh, and we got an external drive to save things on to. The hard lessons learned along the way.

So yesterday something overcame me and I decided I HAD to get these older photos, mostly from the kids were babies, loaded on my Mac. I think there was an original reason but then it came to be all about just staring at them and getting a photo-book started.

I mean, they grow up so stinking fast. And their appearance changes so dramatically. This is a photo of Tobias. Chubby, not quite two year old . . . refusing to get out of the bath.

The photo above is of, from your left, Samuel (red necklace), Tobias and cousin Braxton . . . taken this past summer at Silver Creek Falls. So NOT chubby 6 year old . . . that balks at taking a bath; too busy for baths, that one. Their faces crack me up . . . obviously trying to do an organized, posed photo. Oh well.

Samuel . . . I’m thinking is pacifier was dipped in chocolate milk or something . . . what a face! He is probably around 4 months here. These baby photos make me want to have another, for goodness sakes. That’s probably not in the cards, but it’s a nice thought.

Face isn’t so chubby . . .  no pacifier marks on his mouth, which is a good thing. 🙂 This photo was just taken maybe a month ago at the dog park.

I’m beyond blessed, I tell you!! My boys aren’t just growing to be handsome little men but kind hearted and, mostly, respectful. Makes my heart glad and grateful to God; it’s by His grace, I’m telling you!


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