Tobias. He is my first born.
The first child has a unique situation. They are “only” children for a period of time, then a sibling, and then often a caretaker for the other siblings. Because first borns are so important to how the family unit functions, they become accustomed to being the center of attention. They tend to revel in the praise and attention they receive from parents before the other children arrive. This does, however, cause a slight problem when a second child arrives and begins to steal the attention away from the first born. They may feel unloved or rejected because the parents had another child. Because of this, sometimes the first born will misbehave to receive attention, although some first borns choose to opt in the other direction- first borns will try to point out what makes them better, more interesting, smarter, etc., than the other children, in order to gain attention.
The other children of the family usually look up to the first born as the natural leader. Second, or middle children especially look to the first born for direction and guidance when they are out of it themselves. Consequently, first borns often believe that they should gain and hold superiority over the other children. They love to be right and hate to be contradicted. Oldest children may show off their knowledge or abilities to other children or adults in order to gain appreciation, love and respect. They are competent at an early age and may be responsible beyond their years. In some cases, this causes the first born to grow up too quickly, which may affect them throughout their lives to come.
Eldest children are usually socially dominant. They are very driven and extremely conscientious. Unfortunately, they may be less open to new ideas, prone to perfectionism and long to please people, which may be a result of losing both parents’ undivided attention at an early age. To make up for this, first borns often work throughout their lives to regain their parents’ attention.
When first borns do not achieve their goals, they often suffer from extreme guilt. They feel as though they’ve failed themselves, their parents, and those around them. They feel a loss of love from others when they’ve failed, whether or not that loss is actually there. They also have a strong sense of justice which contributes to their feeling of guilt- they think that people should get what they deserve. This makes it that much harder to convince a first born that failing at a project does not make them a bad person.
Whether or not your child grows up with all of these personality traits, chances are good that they will retain some of them. In order to protect your first born from some of the negative aspects of that birth order type, try not to ignore your first born once you’ve had another child. Encourage your child to succeed, but don’t push them to hard. Don’t give your first born too many responsibilities at a young age. Remember that they are still just children and should still be treated as such! ~Found Here
“Tobias, you do not rule the world, yet,” I point out regularly. Everything from the music that’s playing to where we should turn while we’re driving . . . to bossing his brother around too much to what’s for dinner. I’m not very tolerant of it but understand in the same light. I have an older sister, the eldest. I get it. 🙂
Speaking of. Tob has decided that “dance music” is the best! Dance music consists of Daft Punk (the new Tron movie) and other related music. Deadmau5 is favorite of his. Thankfully there are no words, just hyped up industrial/techno style music. Unfortunately it is both energizing and tiring, in the same half an hour of listening. There is, in his mind, no other kind of music to love. I hope this passes. Daft Punk
So, thanks Pandora, for making this available at any moment in time. . . (slight sarcasm)
Samuel is the oldest kid in his preschool. His birthday is September 12 . . . 2 days after the cutoff for the public school system. I attempted many a phone call to get him into kindergarten but finally relented after reading an article (which I can’t find) stating it was better for boys to wait the extra year, than to start a tad early, with all the backup arguments, etc. So he is getting another year of preschool. He gets bored with it but he will do so well kindergarten.
Sam has all but beat Sonic Colors for the Wii. Thank you, Granny, for sending that our way. 🙂
I’m learning to set limits on video games, since that is relatively new thing the kids are into. There are days that I know he plays waaaay too much; normally on vacation days and weekends. Between Daft Punk and Sonic Colors, I may end up in a prolonged seizure.
I’ve been painting like a mad man . . . or woman, whichever. I’ve painted some stuff I hate . . . and one or two that I really love. My walls are running out of space. Anyone want a painting? 🙂 Here’s a couple that I found ‘hang-worthy’ . . .
This is one is my Mom’s. For her red bedroom. 🙂 I did a few clean ups on it since I took this photo. I’m liking it alright.
This is one of my favorites. I want to take a course in painting. I know I’m still really really rough. Just remember I’ve only done a half dozen canvases. 🙂
This is one I wish I would’ve done on canvas . . . it’s on watercolor paper.
I just finished this purple on. I’ll probably go over and do little stuff to it but I’m really liking the colors. . .
That’s all. I tried my hand at a Koi, it turned alright . . . definitely one to practice and do on canvas eventually. I tried a butterfly wing. That was interesting and turned out like a kid might’ve been the artist. 🙂 One to play with though.
That’s a really vague update on us. Life keeps going. I’m learning to be grateful and content in the moment and shrug off resentment and bitterness. I really like getting my way but sometimes stuff just doesn’t turn out our way . . . trusting God to move us towards what He has for us.
Hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving! Time for Christmas! We go get our tree next weekend! Yay! Wow, that’s a lot of exclamation points. 🙂