Its Working Out

Working out is . . . well, exercise. I do good for a week or so at a time and then struggle for a week or so at a time. Its during the week of having to decide through the lack of motivation, to workout anyway that it ends up feeling so good (most of the time). And today is one of those days. I’m glad I put forth the effort to go through rookie martial arts moves of Ms. Nunez and the crazy Ab Jams video that kills my abs for 20 minutes a pop. I feel stronger, healthier and all around better about myself and life.

Tobias woke up this morning already running in 5th gear at a 100 miles an hour. Running from dad, to me and zipping around the house . . . all the while spouting half intelligible words at a volume slightly too loud for one’s sanity to remain put. By the time lunch was done at 12:30, he dropped soundlessly into bed, enjoying the chocolate milk I handed him in a sippy cup (I know, bad mommy). But he now sleeps peacefully, regenerating his battery for an afternoon of non-stop energy and emotion.

Samuel has decided that my potted plants are there for his digging and playing pleasure. This is a recent phenomenon; even though the plants have been in his reach since he was born. I have used my vacuum more in the last 3 days than I have the entire 3 years I’ve owned it. This morning I watered my lovely plants (I have like 10 plants and trees or so) and Sam decided that the wet dirt was funner than the dry dirt and my carpet still has a brown tinge where I sucked up the conclusion (after I caught him) to his dirt mongering. Now, when Tobias was his age, I had to block my plants off in the kitchen because, no matter the sternness of my displeasure, he would not, could not, leave the dirt in the pots. So today Sam’s targeted plants were placed in front of and under the window and my husband’s trunk chest thing, which is actually quite cool looking, hinders the little dirt mongers from destroying the only oxygen producing specimens in the house. The dog has decided this is quite the natural and best set-up for him as well and has made his bed amongst the paradise of trees and plants.

Yeah, ignore the towel. Also, cluttered and lack of style is actually in style. Since I became Mother Tucker, anyway, that’s been my home’s residing motif. Like the cd rack with no cd’s . . . another pointless piece of equipment brought from J’s bachelorhood.

Tobias, the one in the rear, is chasing Samuel, the one in the front. Chase is a, multiple times a day, routine for both individuals . . . one of their favorites at the moment.

Justin is off at school, the usual story there, studying and taking midterms this week again. Gotta drag it out as long as possible, poor hubby . . . he is super-stressed! But he’ll be fine . . . this is one of the busiest terms he’ll have in the course of the fire degree, so if he can just get through this the rest will feel like a cake walk . . . which I’m exactly positive on what a cake walk is but apparently its very easy. The Paramedic program, by what I can gather, is going to be hard all throughout. But that’s not til next year.

Thats enough words, I suppose, for a post of my life . . . since my life seems to be in a relatively dull season right now.

God Bless!

Glimpses of Spring

I forget my camera anytime I leave my house. You shall note the majority of photos you see will be in my house or right outside my front door. So to no amazement, I forgot my camera on our giant outing to nowhere on Saturday and I forgot to take it out with me today on the longest walk we’ve been on all year. Gorgeous was the weather and happy were the children to be free from the bondage known as the indoors.

Well, I’m done writing for now. God Bless!

Spring is on its way!! Yay, indeed!!

apt. living

My two boys have to get outside everyday; every other day at the least.

We live in an apartment while Justin is going to school full time (actually double-time at 26 credits, eeks!).  The apartment is large, relatively speaking. But no amount of controlled rough housing indoors compares with the energy-burning walk we’ve taken up.

We start in front of our apartment, which faces the parking lot.  We turn left and follow the strip of grass down, oh 6 -8 apartments down to the end of the building (dodging the dog poo as we go), take another left and then another left; leaving the parking lot behind (parking lots, not conducive for a nearly 3 yr old and a 17 m. old to play near) and we find ourselves behind our complex.

Its nice, tree lined with the roots of the trees visible above ground, as though their gripping the soil with their very fingers.  The grass is lush and there’s plenty of space for them to wonder around; checking out dirt, rocks and sticks.  I point out to an excited Tobias the squirrels and variety of birds that gather at the feeders.  The gentleman that resides in the end unit faithfully refills these feeders attached to the fence and hanging from the tree, keeping the squirrels out and about all year.  Tobias has noises for each critter and he almost shouts the squawks for the birds and high-pitched barks for the squirrels.

We follow the wide corridor of nature until ends at the playground where boys proceed to burn off the remainder of their energies for the time being.  We trudge indoors, wet, cold and satisfied with fresh air.

Glimpse of Samuel.  He’s enjoying the playground equipment to its fullest!

beebo

Due to a children’s book author by the name of Sandra Boynton and her small work “Belly Button Book”; all about the hippos and their belly buttons they lovingly call beebos; our coined word for belly button, since Tobias was born, has been the very word beebo.

Tobias, as you could well imagine believes this is the proper term for belly button, just like he’s convinced loe – loe describes all water (that he came up with all on his own).

He routinely lifts dad’s shirt to locate the small indenture, proudly exclaiming “beebo”.  He attempts this with Mother Tucker, but that is a no-no . . . no matter how cute he’s being.

But tonight he was confident in approximately where my belly button was located, so no need to lift my shirt.  He ran back and forth, in and out of the living room; pointing at my stomach area as I stood in the middle of the room after vacuuming; he proceeded to do run-by beebo pokings.

“Beebo!” he would shout as he ran by, jabbing randomly at my sweatshirt.

He must have found great amusement in this behavior because he did not relent his attacks until I seated myself.

This pic is of Tobias hanging out in the window just last weekend. I think he might need a haircut that one. 

why I exist

Tobias was born and Toby was 17 months old when Samuel was added to the fam.  Pretty close in age, I was pregnant and/or nursing for approximately 3 years. But during that hectic time and up until recently I dealt with a lot of ‘what ifs’.  Now the ‘what ifs’ is a disease of sorts that attacks the mind and if is able to embed it’s poisons there it will travel immediately to the heart effecting most attitudes one exhibits.  I had managed to contract the ‘what ifs’ due to my carelessness and selfishness.  I day-dreamed daily of outings outside the home, minus 2 gorgeous boys, working in the marketplace again (outside the home), traveling and doing the things Justin and I so routinely did prior to children . . . which included many trips up and down the coast of WA, OR and CA scuba diving, my riding horses with friends and my sis Kelli anytime I fancied, picking up doing spontaneous events such as hitting the outlet malls on a whim and Justin and I finding ourselves at a cheap hotel in Port Orford, just hangin’ on the beach . . . and many other things that are immediately complicated with pregnancy and babies. I have to mention here that the year I got pregnant with Tobias my parents moved to Las Vegas, NV so they were nowhere near for me to unload them on occasionally.

Ok, so recently, within the past 3 months, I have realized a settling within myself.  An answer to the age old question, “why do I exist.”  And hit me like a sack potatoes to the head, my boys . . . if I do nothing else but raise them to love and fear God and live righteously and compassionately . . . I have existed for a good and wholesome purpose.  I pray God gives me the grace, the love, the wisdom and ability to raise Tobias and Samuel to what He has created them to do and hopefully not instilling any ‘what ifs’ but instilling trust and hope in our Lord God . . . the One who has our best interest at heart, whether He decides to show us what is in store or not . . . to trust Him in all things.  In that I mean, putting our hand to whatever He has given us for now and stewarding that to the best of our abilities (with His grace).

So, as I have attempted to accomplish the above (always a work in progress) I have been aware of a relief in my being that I didn’t know was infected with the disease of the ‘what ifs’.  I don’t know if I’ll ever cure this disease but I will try my best, from day to day, to trust my God in all things . . . not just what comes easy but all things.

The other part of that that I didn’t express was that I ultimately am taking joy and pride in what I “do”. In that I am at home with two beautiful and perfect boys . . . taking care of them and my home . . . I have never been joyful in this (ashamed to admit) but now I’m finding a joy and a peace in it that is all new to me.

Thank you Jesus for insight and your amazing grace!!