Growing Up Tobias

As I’ve said so many times I can’t count, time flies!

Tobias . . .

. . . is growing up.  That’s kinda what they’re good at . . . well, that and getting amazingly dirty in an amazingly short period of time, eating anything sugar laden, and being so adorable I want to cry.

Tob starts preschool in one week.  We went and replaced his worn out summertime shoes and got him a few pieces of clothing . . . because he’s outgrown all 4T clothing, especially pants, from last year.  Interesting what happens while they’re running around in shorts for 3 months.

We go and meet his teacher and check out his school on Friday.  And Tuesday he rides their little bus to school.  They welcome parents on the bus with them . . . so I’ve officially elected Justin to ride with him the first time (if not the first week) . . . I would but I’m, um, what they refer to as “emotional”.  I don’t think I’d be much of a calming agent whilst accompanying my kid.

I put in Tob’s height and weight and found out he’s tall.  44 inches tall. Yeah, I used one of those converter things online to come up with 3′7″ (no math problems until after coffee is consumed).  Height averages . . . granted I don’t know what is a legit site and what is not . . . but this was written out very plainly for me to see, so I’m using it.  You know you can roughly try to figure out how tall your kid is gonna be but its based on the parent’s height.  That only works so good . . . don’t you take into consideration how tall the mammoths are on the momma’s side? Check it out here

These are 2 of my 3 brothers . . . and my dad.  My dad is 6′4″ . . . Bill is 6′7″ . . . . Jon is around 6′3″ or so.  Not out there tall but definitely taller than the 5′11″ I was given based on mine and Justin’s height.

Um, not sure why I’m going on and on about this.  Obviously there is more important things than the height of your child, now or at 22 years old . . . but I find it interesting.

Ope, speaking of the tots . . . I hear them, finally arising from slumber.

Turning Into Little Boys

I had two baby boys . . . I think they are turning into little boys and not babies so much anymore.  I like to pretend Sam is still a little baby . . . I often get in trouble for coddling him . . . but, in reality, he is not.  Not gonna stop me from savoring every second left of his latter half of his second year of life! 

I am planning Tobias’ 4th birthday party.  4th!  When did that all happen.

I’m gonna say it . . .

You can’t stop me . . .

here I go . . .

Yep, thats right . . .

TIME FLIES!

Especially as I age.  A year seems so short now, when it used to seem like eternity.

I love these two hooligans and I’m so stinkin’ blessed to be home with them to be able to mother them . . . they’ll always be my babies!!

ps . . . so I’m thinking a toy train cake or a hotwheel cake . . . not sure which one.  or I might do something totally off the wall . . . like a polka dot cake.  Ok, maybe not.  Any ideas??

title-less

Man, I gotta get my camera back from the hubby! I have nothing to really share . . . just wasting time.

I cleaned and cleaned today. Amazing how I don’t realize how in-need (thought I’d use that description, instead of DIRTY) of cleaning things are until ya get behind the bookshelf and the giant couch and move the furniture around. Ugh. And I’m not even gonna talk about the bathrooms right now. Lets just say I’m not done. We move the beginning of next week and I only slightly feel ready. I wanna shampoo the carpets and J is gonna paint the inside . . . lighten the load on the maintenance men here and help us to retain some of our deposit.

Then the kiddos . . . and the dog . . . were going a bit stir crazy so we headed out to the dog park. We got there just early enough to play, wonder the dog park field and play frisbee with Byron before the crowd showed up with all their massive dogs. I’ve always had big dogs, my whole life, but now I’ve been years without a big dog . . . and sporting a compact critter . . . well, they seem bigger and more cumbersome. Not more work, cuz Byron is a lot of work and slightly high maintenance, mostly due to his energy level and being quite the hair sprinkler. One the big dogs jumped up and his big dog nails scratched Toby’s ear. You’d think life ended, though there wasn’t blood or anything major . . . just scared. The guy kinda felt bad but I’m the one there, with my kids, in the dog park . . . my risk. Once the crowd grew to about half a dozen big dogs, well, we headed out. Byron was tired out anyway.

Samuel is two in 9 days! 9 days! I’m so at a loss for words! About the time he hit 4 months, I was ready for him to be a year old . . . a bit more mobile and all weaned. That year seemed to zip by, but I remember chunks. Where did this last year go. That, my friend, is what a blog is good for! I have been keeping this thing for awhile now and it is so very cool to go back through . . . especially to read the description and the stories behind the photos. A bit of a motivation to keep with this blogging venture. A lot of times I feel like I have very little to say . . . since my life is relatively limited right now, but I’m not gonna miraculously remember all of this . . . I’m just not. Good to write it down.

This makes up for the sore lack of a baby book, right? When they’re 18 and movin’ out . . . hopefully for college . . . I can download the whole thing on thumb drive (or whatever they have in 15 years for storing info) and give it to them. Well . . . it will be interesting, right? I would have looooved something like this from my momma! To see her daily happenings, thoughts, and all the filler for my patchy recollections of childhood and teenage angst. What an insight and jewel I’d have now that I’m on a similar venture in life. My mom tries to remember and articulate it now but the words of the moment, that would’ve been cool!

Alright, thats really my whole thought on that subject.

So both boys are getting big big big. Tobias is 3 years and 5 months . . . Samuel 2 years in 9 days! Crrazzy! Wonder what it will feel like in 10 more years . . . looking back.

I’m going to end this now. Its evening, time is winding down to bed time and I wanna go hold the very figures this blog was created for . . . well, at least watch them play and run amok.

God Bless!

Tobias . . . he’s approximately 5 months old here. Chubby Bubby!!

Samuel and the daddio. Samuel . . . around 3 months here.

Getting bigger . . . not giant, just bigger. Well, the giant one is my hubba hubba hubby . . . me likey that one too.

Conclusion

I remember not really “fitting in” as early as 3rd grade. I was tall, very tall, for my age and kind of on the heavy side . . . though I never remember thinking of myself as fat. I was excruciatingly shy . . . with a big fat capital S . . . and it didn’t help that my height drew attention.

The shy bit just remained a large part of my personality . . . though I suddenly stopped growing taller at 14 years old. But 5′10″ still isn’t average . . . and, as much I wanted to blend. Oh did I want to blend!! . . . I couldn’t.

On top of that I was a different bird. I loved growing flowers from seed, so my room was full of seedling trays. I was around 14 or 15 years old. I had rigged a wire shelf to hang outside of my upstairs bedroom window for a variety that worshiped the sun.

I snuck my pet bunny in the house and made him a home inside a toy chest with hinged doors. The doors swung up and created quite the perfect little home. One thing about rabbits though is they do stink . . . especially when a young girl is not cleaning the cage several times a day, or once a day for that matter. I was found out.

I bought a pet bird from the local petstore. He was half price because his left leg had been amputated by a bird friend of his. He was a parakeet. I fed him lots . . . he always seemed to be hungry. I would feed him in the morning before I went to school . . . usually rushing out the door afterwards.

My pet bird, Burt, he died of starvation. I fed him but found out shortly after that it was not him eating the bird seed . . . or enough of it to sustain his little life . . . it was the mice that lived in our old house. I found the mice rooting around on my dresser after Burt kicked the birdy bucket. I cried for days over my handicap bird.

Now, I conclude he just did not have any kind of luck whatsoever.

In my late teens and early twenties I solidified a lasting relationship with my God and some things just settled in me . . . acceptance of sorts, of myself and trying to find my place in this crazy, confusing world of ours. And identity, since I had never, once, blended with any group of people . . . any click in school . . . nothing. Loner McLoner Pants.

But its as I reach into my thirties . . . with one fantastic, hard working husband, and two beautiful and perfect boys . . . I realize more and more I am the way God created me. He made no mistakes in my height, my size, my poofy hair, my eye color, my skin color, my tiny feet and tiny hands (even though I’m bigger), . . . nothing about my personality either. Though there are always attitude adjustments to deal with . . . I am finding I don’t have to apologize for not being the social butterfly. If we were all social butterflies, we would have some issues. We can’t all be the center of attention. And I like that I’m not. But, for some reason I always felt like I had to apologize for the way I am.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If there is conviction to grow in an area . . . stretch my comfort zone for the Kingdom of God. I gotta work on it. Getting into a new church the past two weeks, hard for me . . . but I knew that I knew I had to obedient.

I can be quirky . . . I grew up in a family of stand up comedians and funny people . . . there’s no way around the quirky. I love that side of me . . . but I also love the quiet, observant side of me as well. Thats when I really find I reach out to people, hear God better and feel more at peace. Goofy is fun, but, like everything in life, balance.

This comes up because I was at the Chemeketa’s Fire graduation . . . the 2nd year fireman were graduating and hubby was helping with the bbq (tregger bbq . . . goooood!) I had the two boys and we sat outside, just hangin’. I loved how secure I felt . . . not in my abilities, but in God. I met a lot of the guys, mostly chief’s, that Justin works with daily and the office manager that I talk to periodically on the phone but I had never met.

We all have our place. I can’t be the person next to me . . . that person can’t be me. Why I am just figuring this out at 31 years old . . . I don’t know. Slow Mo Tucker!

Thats all I wanted to share. I somehow ended with Justin’s keys . . . he’s got his car . . . so I’m expecting him to call anytime now and figure out how to get them. Didn’t know til I was home . . . figures. ;(

God Bless!

Just realized there is no people in this shot. Sorry. The rig Hubby rides on when on shift. Its pretty.

week apart

I’ve kind of, sort of, set this week apart, writing wise, for Tobias.  He turns 3 years old April 11th . . . Friday; geez, where has time gone?!  I’m going to wear that “where has time gone?” statement out . . . better think of about 20 more as he gets older each year, be a bummer to use the same statement every year. When he’s 40, I’ll be like “holy macrel, and I thought I was old!” . . . of course I will be almost 70 years old at that time. ha ha.

When I visit my parents that live several states away and my brothers, that live in the area, are hanging out as well . . . it hits home that my boys will eventually grow up to be men.  I’m not sure why it took me nearly 2 years into this to figure that out, but it did. The do not stay little boys, they grow to be giant men with dreams, personalities, hang-ups, passions, and faith of their own. I say giant because my brother Bill is 6′6″ and my other two bro’s are over 6′2″ . . . so it feels like they are gigantic.  I never thought that when I lived at home; my dad is 6′4″, so it runs in the old family line, but now I’m married to a man 5′10″ (average height), they seem huge.  I hug my bro, Billy, and my face barely comes to his chest height . . . um, weird.  I’m 5′10″, so I ain’t a shorty. His wife is 5′1″ or so, funny but their personalities are definite matches!

Anyway, some days I try to imagine what Tobias will look like and be like as he gets older.  And then my mind tends to wander back over how my brothers were as we grew up.  I was older than all of them, by only 2 years older than Billy though. They are just so different, except Jon, than I would have thought when they were kids; self-centered, whiny, wrestling-happy, and mean (we were siblings, they like to poke fun) little boys.  Now Billy is a welder in Nevada, mellow, hard working and fun to boot; no fun being poked my way at all! Jon is a dramatic, social, easy going and a stand up comedian (no matter who is around or where you are), Joshua is passionate about skateboarding . . . and he’s good at, easy going, quick to smile and laugh, loves his nephews, and tends to enjoy life; he’s exactly 10 years younger . . . thats the only way I keep his age straight. Otherwise I picture him as an awkward 13 year old all the time.  All three are handsome and well-rounded . . . they have my rock of a dad and my loving and supportive mom to thank for that.

So I watched them morph into the adults they are now.  I see how my parents loved them no matter the freak music they decided they loved, or the hairstyle they decided to sport, or the piercings, or the clothing, or the bad decisions made along the way . . .there was correction, don’t get me wrong, but their love was never ever ever doubted.  I experienced the same with my parents.  “Gentle but strong” . . . a saying that all the horse people I ever knew or rode with said many a time.  And I do think it applies to parenting as well.

You cannot love your child and omit discipline . . . you love your child, you will discipline . . . because you care where your child will end up 1 year, 2 years, 20 years down the road . . . true love cares for more than what feels good right now, or shuts them up right now . . . it cares for their very soul’s condition and their spirit.

There are so many parallels in parenting and our relationship with God, and the above is one . . . your Heavenly Father loves you, therefor HE will discipline . . . HE loves you too much to let the things that keep you from him continue.  Thats how you know the love of God is for you.

Wow, what a wondering post, sorry.  I’m just enthralled with the ‘growing up’ process of my boys right now. Tobias is looking less “baby” everyday and I’m caught off guard by his continuous flow of words and expressions . . . words and expression I actually understand immediately!

I thank God for the opportunity to have birthed Tobias and raise him the best I can under God’s grace and direction . . . I’m humbled daily by my role in life right now and I pray I can be even more humble and allow God to just have HIS way in my kids . . . talk about an awesome character to pass on . . . But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law -Galations 5:22-23

God Bless!

My youngest brother, Joshua, showing Tobias how to skateboard last February . . . too cute! T loves his uncles!

Tall?

Ok, Tobias turns three in about 2 weeks. Which is blowing my mind to think I gave birth to him almost 3 years ago! Weird . . . anyway thats off the subject.  About 6 months ago T finally outgrew all of his 2T clothing . . . especially pants.  We were blessed with some hand-me-downs that were actually SO cute . . . clothes I would have bought brand new if given the opportunity. That said, he has about 6 pairs of jeans/pants, size 3T.

Lately I’ve been glancing across the room and noting in my pea-brain how tall he seemed . . . his face is changing too . . . he can reach the banister! . . . crap, time to move all the breakables. Anyway, its not my imagination . . . his 3T pants are starting to inch of the floor . . . creeping into the high-water zone. Um, he’s not 3 yet! Don’t I have like 6 more months before I need to by 4T . . . and speaking of . . . do they make 4T clothing? Or do you start in on the little kid clothes sizes?

So, I think some shopping is in order. I think his feet grew too.  So fast, the grow up!!

I forget what he was up to when I snapped this photo . . . adorable, if I do say so myself. 

20

#20

I thought I knew you, some of your quirks, habits and personality. In a way I thought I had you figured out. Thats until Tobias was added to our tiny little family three years into a great marriage. I took in the scene of baby and dad in the hospital . . . you not completely sure of what to do . . . making two of us. And when he was shipped off to NICU due to that oxygen issue, you made sure to hang out with him until I could.

As the stress level rose in the house a bit when we brought him home, you allowed me space to deal, figure it out in my own way . . . but being supportive in your own way. You stood back quite a bit in the beginning but slowly and surely you found your niche as a father.

Tobias will be three years old in a little over a month and I marvel at the beautiful relationship between you and the Tob-Meister! He is definitely fitting the mold of a daddy’s boy and you soak up every inch of the attention he pours on you. Seeing you rough house and just plain enjoy your son has made my life richer than I ever expected it to be! I can envision you both scuba diving in ten or so years, hunting, playing sports and just having a blast at life. He resembles you physically but also in his base personality . . . a go-getter and high-energy.

Thank you for being an awesome dad to a great little boy and loving him so completely! I know that that acceptance will pay off in Tobias’ life, now and later on.

Hubby and Tobias . . . dad is pointing out the boats in harbor, Portland, OR