Mother Tucker

Mother’s Day . . . a day I attribute to my mother, not me.  I’ve been a mother only 3 years, and only to 2 children.  My mother has been a mother for 32 years, going on 33 years on June, and she’s been a fantastic mom to 7 kids, and one more added when she was a teenager; so 8 kids.  We’re all grown up and moved out now but she still takes up responsibility for us when we get in a pickle . . . more or less financially, anymore.  But her moral support and wisdom take the cake.  The older I get the more I’m aware of our similarities and quirks that mirror each others . . .  I’m sure I’m mirroring her more than the other way around . . .

That’s my momma on the left (obviously) and daddy and he’s holding Braxton, my nephew . . . and then Samuel is in my mom’s lap and Tobias is there too. This was July of last year, so a bit dated.

So my thoughts are with my mom today. Of course the card I bought was late being mailed so she won’t get until Tuesday or something but its the thought, right.  And I have a reputation to uphold here, you know.

I woke up this morning and my husband had beat me to the punch; getting the alert kiddos out of their cribs, feeding them, changing them, etc.  I went walk/jogging cuz I was feeling mighty guilty about the pizza I ate last night and I like to walk by myself . . . well, by myself with Bonko Byron

Yep, Bonko Byron . . . that would be the white streak of white off to your right.

Ah, it was a beautiful morning too . . . sunshine and all.  We went about 3 miles or so and came home.  My batteries a bit more charged.

Knowing Justin did have to put some hours in at work I didn’t want to bug him about going to the park or anything but it slipped anyway and he immediately agreed.  We packed Toby’s big wheel and the stroller and headed to Minto Brown Park . . . paved bike paths galore!!  Justin was teaching Tobias how to peddle the big wheel and when that got old . . . which, with a three year old, doesn’t take very long . . . played on the playground and then walked down to the dog park to let Bonko Byron run his energetic butt off. All with thick rain clouds intermixed with bright blue and sunshine . . . gorgeous and one of my favorite types of weather. Gotta compromise straight sunshine here in the Western bit of Oregon, eh.

You guessed it, I forgot my camera . . . again. But thats alright, I enjoyed myself so much that I would have forgotten it was there anyway.

Oh yeah, I got a card too . . . so funny . . . so Justin’s humor and it made it that much more special; and the one-of-a-kind Toby art drawn inside. Love it!

Words that describe how I feel about motherhood, in my severely limited experience:

*Love

*Fulfilling

*Protective

*Unconditional

*Sacrificial

*Overwhelming

*Challenging

*Commitment

*Insecure

*Secure

*Lonely

*Busy

*Tiring

*Worry

*Prayerful

*Hope

*Snuggle

Most of all I wanna be the best mom I can be to both my boys . . . as different as they are, I want them to come to their full potential; not in the world’s standards, but their full potential in what God has for them.  That their lives be full of the fruits of spirit because of their personal relationship with the one true God . . . spilling over into every part of their existence. And that they have confidence, not in and of themselves, but confidence in the one who ultimately created them and know His love and truth are secure no matter what happens in their natural world.

Again, this is July of 2007 . . . the boys were: Tobias 27 months and Samuel 10 months . . . give or take a few weeks. Oh yeah, and thats me, tanned from summer sun. Love that summer sun. I think Tobias was trying to get down and push Sam away at the same time; quite the feat.  And Sam was glaring or something at Tobias. hee hee . . . they were both squirming, I remember that.

So I have many friends and family that take on the same challenges, and more, in mothering their children . . . I want to wish you all a  Happy Mother’s Day and I hope your day was as full of peace and love!!

God Bless!

I’m sitting in front of my computer . . . the boys are sleeping, or should be anyway, and I’m tentatively “clocked out” for the evening. The “clocked out” bit gets easier as they get older and fall into nice little structured routines.

I did well today, diet wise, keeping it well under my calorie goals and worked out hardily in front of my tube to crazy blond Aussie and really really happy ab jam lady. She is pumped about abs! Not sure why the walk didn’t work itself into the picture, except the boys were crabby this afternoon and I didn’t feel the gumption to fight them into the stroller and make the best of it. That, the stroller bit, does not get easier as they get older. Bummer.

But currently I have a gigantic bowl of popcorn . . . I’d like to take this moment to thank my friend, Sarah, for creating an addiction to popcorn out of her generosity to buy me kernels once. Since I have been unable to resist a scrumptious bowl of popcorn . . . bowl is used loosely, as it more resembles a barrel than a bowl.

Nope, not ice cream, not chocolate, not even the whip cream and strawberries I bought on purpose as a ice cream substitute . . . nope, its the salty goodness of the popcorn.

Thank you, Sarah!

Thats really all I wanted to write about . . . making sure credit for the obsession is placed on the correct person, wouldn’t wanna confuse anyone. And I definitely couldn’t take personal responsibility, I’m American!

God Bless!

I took my pooch out potty the other day and the boys locked the door behind me . . . forcing me to go get the office staff to unlock it.  I had not a clue that they even knew how to work the deadbolt.  Lesson learned. Uh-huh.

Today Justin had to go up to Brook Firestation and do some pressure washing and some other stuff . . . its his job, work-study, fun fun.  I loaded the kiddos in the stroller at the same time he was getting into his car, to enjoy this happy happy warm weather we’re experiencing at the moment. We waved, Toby cried (always does when dad leaves), and we walked practically right next to him out of the drive . . . which just prolonged Tobias’ crying. Ugh.  Half way down the Salem Parkway Justin honks as he’s driving back toward the apartment.  We wave and my mind starts pondering what he might of forgotten.  And then something shiny caught my eye and I forgot about him.

We went for quite the walk and we’re coming up on our road that will lead us back to the apartment complex when it dawns on me that Justin is religious about locking the door.  I am not.  I did not bring my keys. So, of course I get agitated about it before we ever reach the apartment . . . in part because I had to use the restroom something awful.

Yes, the door was locked . . . but the sliding glass door, I found after I shimmied over  the 5 foot (ok, maybe 4 1/2 ft) enclosing wall, was not locked and we were inside in no time.

So the lesson here is, quite possibly, to carry my keys with me at all times. No matter if I’m the last one out and did not have a key in the first place to even lock the door . . . just carry the keys.

I have two beautiful boys. Beautiful, I’ll say it again. Inside and out, that is.

Today a third was added to our numbers, just for the day, while my sister went to Vancouver to check out a new car. Yeah, we’re on the way here in Salem-land . . . so she dropped off my nephew, Braxton. This wasn’t a rare occasion when we lived less than 10 minutes away, but now we are over an hour . . . its a rare occasion.

I enjoyed the day, despite that we were basically trapped indoors due to the weather and, on top of that, my boys decided it was melt-down day . . . yeah, can we get a nap time. They did but they didn’t sleep. Ugh.

Braxton was a dream . . . as my boys probably would have been outside of their element.

We watched lots of Disney movies. Well, they played in the background whilst the business of playing with trucks and out on the patio, during sun-breaks, took place. They didn’t seem to notice the flicks of animation until they were over . . . then they proceeded to beg me to turn on another. And I was in the mood to indulge. So the tv and dvd player will have less visitors the next few days . . . I hope the weather gets better so we can live outdoors.

Ok, I also have to say . . . Tobias turned 3 years old three weeks ago and, if I’m not mistaken, he’s changing . . . and not for the better ( not better for mother tucker anyway). I thought I had it bad with tantrums from, a bit before two on, but this isn’t tantrums this is just a bad attitude or something. My mom told me yesterday she was gonna tell me that 3 years old is crappier than 2 years old when I complained about the 2 year old era but she didn’t want to scare me. Great. So here I am, terrible 3’s? Ugh! He’s usually not hard to discipline but I’m having to be more direct with him and really talk to him about what he’s doing . . . so much more energy.

Alrighty, I’m done whining. I’ve got it made, I tell ya, I’m home with my kiddos . . . what a blessing!! And I get to deal with the different stages, instead having to leave it someone else’s hands . . . its a gift and I know it.

So I mentioned I started jogging early morning . . . yeah, Justin’s work schedule changed for him to be there, majority of the week, at 5:30am. Guess what, I don’t have a treadmill and I ain’t runnin’ in the dark in this here neighborhood. I’m not sure I would in any neighborhood. So, back to work out videos but as it warms, I’ll get my jiggle on . . . in other words, I’ll run more. Sorry if that creates too much visualization for ya.

Alrighty I got some pics of the boys for ya from today. I do love pictures, mostly my own, but I love looking at other people’s photos too. I can go to flickr and look at random photos for hours . . . odd, you say . . . maybe but there are some pretty professional looking photos there. Type in ‘light’ in the search bar and it brings up some nice pics! Mine, not so professional . . . but fun nonetheless.

Braxton and Samuel, focused on Retro Rocket . . . super toy.

Tobias, Braxton on Retro Rocket and Samuel . . . apparently Retro Rocket and its rider are hypnotizing . . . this is the first glance of still life I had all day. And, yes, that is the very popular Cars movie playing on the screen . . . and, yes, no one is watching it.

This is more like it . . . chasing the pooch for the millionth time. Byron looks defeated but I’m pretty sure he’s also chewing up one the stolen crackers he managed whilst the chasing occurred.

Where the pooch goes when the tots have bestowed too much loving attention.

This is what it did most of the day . . . well, weirdly intense moments of sunshine, then this, then some rain, then some really intense sunshine, then this, then some rain . . . you get it?  Yeah, crrrraazy weather we’ve been gettin’.  I think they call it spring . . . maybe cuz it springs back and forth from winter to summer until summer finally takes over, eh?  Like that one?

I’m done jabbering.  I’m home alone tonight . . . today was/is Justin’s official shift day . . . Sunday was a makeup day since he missed last week’s. Thats my excuse for writing so much in one sitting.  I really really want some fatty butt ice cream . . . like Ben and Jerry’s S’mores . . . so bad, yet so good. I think I’ll go to bed instead. Can’t gain calories (i.e. more fat) by sleeping instead of eating, eh?

God Bless!

I always thought I was adventurous.  Hey, I had traveled to Africa . . . lived in the ghettos of the outskirts of Nairobi . . . met and fell in love with a people  and land that I will never ever forget . . . a life altering experience (with God’s grace and protection).  I’ve experienced 50 mile endurance races . . . on horseback, that is . . . taking place on land and with people I knew nothing of; just colored tagging ribbons to light the non-path.  I’ve scuba dived and will continue to scuba dive the open ocean with my hunk of a husband. Fear has never been a strangle hold for me . . . as I know loved ones have dealt with. Don’t get me wrong . . . I’m not a daredevil, but I don’t mind indulging in the unknown, etc; and I definitely definitely have my limits!!

We move to Salem, Oregon and I am paralyzed in my apartment.  I ventured out in my own neighborhood . . . I have driven all of ten miles to a nice park on the edge of the Willamette University Campus . . . but I haven’t made an effort, at all, to get to know the city in which we’ve chosen to reside for the 3 years of Justin’s schooling.

Yesterday Justin and I went to South Salem . . . which seems much nicer than the area I live (which scares me in part. . . what was that about fear?) and enjoyed an immense park (like 900 acres).  They have an off-leash dog park area, consisting of 25 of those acres! Nice! Byron got to run about willy nilly and the boys had a chance to also wear themselves out quite nicely (reason for the early nap today)  . . . so we will be back there soon. And, of course, I forgot my camera.

But it hit me that, by summer, I need to have scouted out hiking opportunities, walking paths, swimming areas and hang outs that don’t require us to be on busy streets.  I might have to put my explorer hat on and take on the task.  Not ‘might’ . . . I have to . . . or I will go nuts holed up in my tiny area of Salem with very little to do.

Thats all I got to say about that.  I miss Eugene, mostly because I knew where stuff was . . . hiking, swimming, etc . . . but there is an excitement with figuring out new areas, getting lost, finding my way, etc.

God Bless!

So my pooch has decided that he needed pee on my floor . . . not once but 3 times in one week.  This is not ok . . . an occasional accident due to the negligence and absent-mindedness of the owner, thats understandable. Being outside to potty, coming inside and peeing in my floor within an hour and a half . . . all three times . . . not ok.

I was hot to trot, as they say, and the hubby received an email with some not-so-nice content about the dog he chose and how he needs a new home, etc.  Yeah, not a friendly email.  But the ‘hot-headedness’ wore off and I forgave, once again, the goofball of a dog known as Bye Bye (thanks to Tobias’ version of Byron).

Now, this is a 3 year old dog . . . well house trained since he’s resided in our home (wherever that may be) his entire life.  So, we’re gonna try getting out for walks, at least once a day . . . despite the weather. I’ve been hanging indoors, only going outside to let the boys romp about at the playground . . . doing my cardio indoors to Billy Blanks (thank you, K!) and the crazy Australian kickboxing lady.  Thats gonna have to change, I do believe . . . if we are to hang onto the dog I’ve come to tolerate and the boys adore.

I do love walking/jogging outdoors but I’m also routine oriented to a fault. Once I get started on a certain workout regime, thats what I do, day in and day out. So, with the weather turning cold/rainy once again, indoors win out.  Learn to be flexible . . . thats what I need, I suppose.  I’ll add it to the list of stuff to work on. Getting out and about will be easier as the weather gets nicer.

So, you can tell I’ve got many exciting things happening in my life right now. I’m talking about my dog peeing on the floor . . . can’t get anymore exciting than that!

God Bless!!

Not a way to start off the morning. I was feeling sorry for myself before ever pulling myself out of bed this morning.

I had plans to get myself up before 7am and get my jog/walk time in but didn’t . . . I blame the mild head cold that I have but it really isn’t a show stopper, so its not a legit excuse.

If I don’t go jogging (walk/jog) before J is getting ready to leave for school, I don’t get to go by myself . . . its a whole new type of event to load up my kids and make sure they’re cozy enough, fed, watered, etc . . . juice and snacks are provided on the trip. The solace of the outing is missing when the tots are present . . . instead whining persists . . . never enough snacks and juice. Why doesn’t my mother live closer!?! Poor me . . . I am always always serving and I just want time periodically or even spontaneously just to drop the boys off with my momma and breath for a bit

Ok, so the above paragraph are the negative statements floating around in my head as I’m making breakfast. I’m being relatively polite, despite the fact I hadn’t had my official cup of joe (our coffee pot is slow by the way) and I was deciding to wallow in the mire that is known as me and my friend selfish

Hubby, the dunce, had decided to hang around a bit this morning . . . not a good morning to do so. So the inevitable happened, the words I was allowing my brain and soul to digest instead of praying about them came out at him. He looks me in the eye and says “If you want to put the boys in daycare so you can pursue other things, we can . . . just let me know.” So matter-a-fact! My hackles raised . . . absolutely not. We’ve already built our lives around accommodating my staying home with them . . . what we decided was best . . . blah blah blah . . . I kept talking though it gets muttled in my brain as to what I actually said . . . I rant a bit sometimes.

But then it dawned on me . . . and, yes, I can be slow at times . . . that being home with my gorgeous boys is the only thing I want to do . . . its ok that I don’t have a built in babysitter (though I get envious occasionally with friends that do) and they aren’t this age forever, you know. It feels like it at times, but they aren’t. And, ultimately, if there’s less of me and my friend selfish, the more I can be full of someone else I admire more than anything or one in this world . . . Jesus. I’ve sucked it up lately, keeping my devotional time right, and I see it in my demeanor towards my hubby and my kids . . . time to set it right and keep it right. Thats my biggest prayer right now is to become steady in HIM, not just flip into grace, flip out of HIS covering, etc etc . . . kind of done being tossed by the waves of this life and my emotions . . .

Alright . . . so it hasn’t been the easiest time ever with Hubby in school and having two young toddlers . . . money can be tight tight at times and living in a new city has its major drawbacks (mostly away from family and friends) . . . but there is ONE whom I will never be separated, for eternity . . . and thats Jesus.

Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD. -Psalm 27:14

Alright . . . some good friends of ours gave me a bag of popcorn kernels . . . is that what you call them before they’re popped? How old am I? Why don’t I know the answer to that?

Anyway . . . I have never popped popcorn outside of a prepackaged microwavable bag . . . careful opening it, its hot!

Ok, so I had a bit of the munchies (no I don’t smoke pot) yesterday and decided that that would be a healthier munchy than, say, cookies or candy . . . the two that were also on the mind’s list of yummy edibles.

If you weren’t aware I’m working on losing the next 20 lbs of flab that has stuck itself to my ribs (thighs, arms, fingers, butt, etc) and so healthy was gnawing at the back of my mind.

I read the directions (crazy!!) and decided it sounded easy peasy.  And it was easy peasy! And oh so good!!

If you choose to follow my diet ideas . . . be aware that tiny 1/3 cup of kernels pops a gigantic bowl of popcorn . . . the popcorn you then must drizzle with olive oil and salt it until tastes as though it came from the sea.

Yes, my friends . . . not so healthy after I mutilated it.  And I had one bowl (or barrel, whatever) . . . I did share with my boys, but how much can a 3 year old and 1 1/2 year old actually eat?

Then hubby came home and we were hanging out after the chitlins had drifted to sleep and I was going on and on about how good the “real” popcorn turned out, compared to crappy microwave popcorn.  I went on so much that he asked me to make some, that it sounded good.

Um . . . so I did.  And then I proceeded to eat over half the bowl (barrel) of popcorn cuz apparently he wasn’t as impressed or something.

So, diet didn’t go so well yesterday.

But, on a brighter note . . . I have started jogging outdoors in the wee morning hours, before the house wakes to the chaotic. I have found such solace in my time out . . . I take my crazy Jack, Byron, and we hit the pavement. I’m able to get home, take a shower, get dressed (for the day!!) and have breakfast on its way before the boys start screeching and talking from their cribs.

Mind you, its been COLD here . . . in the 35 or so when I start up at 6:45am . . . but I warm quickly the jostling of jogging and its been tolerable . . . though I’ve decided I still hate the rain.

So, one of my friends, K, and I are planning on a 5k in the fall . . small goal but not so small at the same time.  Maybe I’ll actually be in shape for it. weird

Ok, I’m going now.  Hubby is back to school and shift today . . . so I’m on my own . . . though I was pretty much ready for a day to myself, so thats cool . . . ask me in a week . . . I’ll be ready for him to be on break again.

God Bless!!

Upclose Byron . . . my crazy and obnoxious Jack Russell 

I do love coffee . . . good, bad and the ugly tasting. I’ve had it all and still carry a pretty strong affection for the naturally caffeinated beverage. But I normally limit myself to coffee in the morning and the last cup by lunch time. Otherwise sleep eludes me to the point that I get annoyed at night.

Tonight shall be a rare exception. I just downed the last drop of my cup of joe . . .

I’m doing some minor work for my sister’s rotary club and I managed to start it out wrong so I got to go back and fix what I did wrong and continue on my merry way with it. Not realizing until 10pm that I was currently on page 2 and there were 10 pages of things to be added to the presentation. Um, I’m not going to finish tonight, like I had hoped. I sit on my cushioned bench, created to rest at the foot of my bed, but its been recruited as a fancy looking computer chair . . . with no back support. Ugh! And I have decently strong back . . . still very uncomfortable after several hours. And I was sleepy by 9pm, so I heated up the last remaining dregs left in the cold coffee pot from this morning. It helped ok . . . I’m still awake and functioning to some degree . . . now taking a break and contemplating going to bed while I write this.

So, I believe, after reading one of my good friend’s blog posts about her running a 10K . . . I have been encouraged, in a round about way to start jogging again. I’m so hard on myself. Before Tobias was born I had whittled my body down from well over 200 lbs to under 165 . . . which is good for my 5′10″ frame . . . all by running approximately 20 miles a week. Thats not a lot but its a heck of a lot more than I’m doing right now!

I got big and chubby during the 3 prego years but have managed to lose all but 20 lbs of it, mostly by eating properly and exercising with my crazy kickboxing lady dvd’s in the house. Kids sure complicate things . . . or I use them as an excuse, that could be, at times. But now the weather is getting nice and we (I mostly, the kids are comfortably sitting in the stroller) casually jog/walk (mostly walk) nearly everyday, I think its time to jump-start the old jogging routine . . . build back up to my 3 - 4 miles stints a day. Considering a mile is not in the picture at this point . . . I’ve got a ways to go . . . but I’ll share my joys, sorrows and victories with the three people that read this goofy blog . . . no worries. I have problem with not spilling my guts anyway.

So, all is good with the world of Mother Tucker. I’m going to take pics . . . every morning that I jog . . . that’ll be a good motivator to get out and do it. You don’t even have to pretend interested . . . how about that?!

Thats me at the thought of goal-setting . . . always disappointment to be had along the way . . . its how you deal with the disappointment and move forward as to whether or not you will attain your goal.

I did not leave the apartment property allllll day long today. Its been so nice and warm outside that we’ve gone on good walks everyday and I went grocery shopping and walked down the business district close by and . . .

Well, today was cold, cloudy . . . and cold. I believe the clouds managed to dump rain on us as well around 6pm. We played on the playground for approximately 20 minutes and the kids . . . yeah, you heard right . . . the kids wanted to come inside. Bleary, that sums up the day’s weather and therefor my existence in my apartment . . . nicknamed the human crate.

Byron, our darling pooch, sleeps in a crate at night. He prefers his crate since thats what we had to do when he was pup due to T being a baby (and Mother Tucker’s stress level). So I refer to our lovely (which I’m grateful for, mind you) apt. as the human crate . . . especially being car-less and such, I feel boxed up sometimes . . . a bit of crate fever (cabin fever, but I don’t live in a cozy little cabin with a wood-burning fireplace).

Byron was so bored he managed to squeeze out underneath the railing (a Houdini move) of our patio and ran off. He just did circles for about 20 minutes and then finally relented to coming inside. I’m glad nobody hit him driving through the parking lot! He also missed our routine walk, like the rest of us, apparently.

So, if anything I’ve become more excited for the warmth that promises to be shortly!

Alright thats all the nonsense I can muster for the evening.

God bless! . . . and have a great weekend!!

Um, its Byron’s nose . . . if you couldn’t tell.