Mother Tucker

Mother’s Day . . . a day I attribute to my mother, not me.  I’ve been a mother only 3 years, and only to 2 children.  My mother has been a mother for 32 years, going on 33 years on June, and she’s been a fantastic mom to 7 kids, and one more added when she was a teenager; so 8 kids.  We’re all grown up and moved out now but she still takes up responsibility for us when we get in a pickle . . . more or less financially, anymore.  But her moral support and wisdom take the cake.  The older I get the more I’m aware of our similarities and quirks that mirror each others . . .  I’m sure I’m mirroring her more than the other way around . . .

That’s my momma on the left (obviously) and daddy and he’s holding Braxton, my nephew . . . and then Samuel is in my mom’s lap and Tobias is there too. This was July of last year, so a bit dated.

So my thoughts are with my mom today. Of course the card I bought was late being mailed so she won’t get until Tuesday or something but its the thought, right.  And I have a reputation to uphold here, you know.

I woke up this morning and my husband had beat me to the punch; getting the alert kiddos out of their cribs, feeding them, changing them, etc.  I went walk/jogging cuz I was feeling mighty guilty about the pizza I ate last night and I like to walk by myself . . . well, by myself with Bonko Byron

Yep, Bonko Byron . . . that would be the white streak of white off to your right.

Ah, it was a beautiful morning too . . . sunshine and all.  We went about 3 miles or so and came home.  My batteries a bit more charged.

Knowing Justin did have to put some hours in at work I didn’t want to bug him about going to the park or anything but it slipped anyway and he immediately agreed.  We packed Toby’s big wheel and the stroller and headed to Minto Brown Park . . . paved bike paths galore!!  Justin was teaching Tobias how to peddle the big wheel and when that got old . . . which, with a three year old, doesn’t take very long . . . played on the playground and then walked down to the dog park to let Bonko Byron run his energetic butt off. All with thick rain clouds intermixed with bright blue and sunshine . . . gorgeous and one of my favorite types of weather. Gotta compromise straight sunshine here in the Western bit of Oregon, eh.

You guessed it, I forgot my camera . . . again. But thats alright, I enjoyed myself so much that I would have forgotten it was there anyway.

Oh yeah, I got a card too . . . so funny . . . so Justin’s humor and it made it that much more special; and the one-of-a-kind Toby art drawn inside. Love it!

Words that describe how I feel about motherhood, in my severely limited experience:

*Love

*Fulfilling

*Protective

*Unconditional

*Sacrificial

*Overwhelming

*Challenging

*Commitment

*Insecure

*Secure

*Lonely

*Busy

*Tiring

*Worry

*Prayerful

*Hope

*Snuggle

Most of all I wanna be the best mom I can be to both my boys . . . as different as they are, I want them to come to their full potential; not in the world’s standards, but their full potential in what God has for them.  That their lives be full of the fruits of spirit because of their personal relationship with the one true God . . . spilling over into every part of their existence. And that they have confidence, not in and of themselves, but confidence in the one who ultimately created them and know His love and truth are secure no matter what happens in their natural world.

Again, this is July of 2007 . . . the boys were: Tobias 27 months and Samuel 10 months . . . give or take a few weeks. Oh yeah, and thats me, tanned from summer sun. Love that summer sun. I think Tobias was trying to get down and push Sam away at the same time; quite the feat.  And Sam was glaring or something at Tobias. hee hee . . . they were both squirming, I remember that.

So I have many friends and family that take on the same challenges, and more, in mothering their children . . . I want to wish you all a  Happy Mother’s Day and I hope your day was as full of peace and love!!

God Bless!

Since the purchase of our pooch, Byron, 3 years ago, dog parks have been an active part of our weekly . . . if not . . . daily lives.   He is, as you probably are already aware, a Parson Russell Terrier . . . also known as a Jack Russell (I’m not sure if “Russell” is spelled with 2 L’s or not, who cares).  Jacks are notoriously high energy, they were bred that way for fox hunting purposes.  We are the idiots that bought a high energy breed of dog but now he has wormed his spring-like self into the center of our hearts . . . so he’s stuck with us.

Since the big move to Salemland we had yet to find a loverly dog park to take our exercise deprived animal, to wear out him adequately.  No amount of walks or jogs can squelch the amazing resilience of his Jack energy. But dog parks take a little bit of it out of him, thankfully.

3 weeks ago we found one.  A dog park.  25 acres of leash-less abound! So many dogs, so many acres of green grass to romp, pee, and poop . . . but mostly romp.  And it is so spread out that I don’t mind the kiddos walking on the bark paths with us, instead of squashed in the stroller to watch the going ons.  So, in a fashion, its a dog and kid park.

And, thankfully, summer is slowing taking over, so the weather has been oh so nice!

Here are some pictures of the outing yesterday, late afternoon.  We’ve been multiple times but I managed to remember my camera . . . and I managed to remember to take pictures once we arrived.

Setting out for a walk around 25 acres of off-leash glory!!

Byron, Tobias and Samuel . . . in the lush scenery.

Tobias, growing up . . . so good looking. I’m not biased in any way though.

Samuel at the dog park. Didn’t have time to edit this one before the real live Samuel woke up from naptime.  And now that he’s sitting on me, fresh from a nap, I’m going. He’s good looking too, by the way.

Today I am grateful.  I am grateful for my unconditionally loving God, my awesomely hot husband, my two beautifully bright children, my completely provided for life, and the grace and faithfulness of God to keep covering it and creating it!

I dream a lot. Last night’s dream, that I won’t go into, brought perspective to the malcontent that creeps into my being; dissipating it completely, for now.

God Bless!

Hubby and Toby being goofy. Summer of 2007

I have two beautiful boys. Beautiful, I’ll say it again. Inside and out, that is.

Today a third was added to our numbers, just for the day, while my sister went to Vancouver to check out a new car. Yeah, we’re on the way here in Salem-land . . . so she dropped off my nephew, Braxton. This wasn’t a rare occasion when we lived less than 10 minutes away, but now we are over an hour . . . its a rare occasion.

I enjoyed the day, despite that we were basically trapped indoors due to the weather and, on top of that, my boys decided it was melt-down day . . . yeah, can we get a nap time. They did but they didn’t sleep. Ugh.

Braxton was a dream . . . as my boys probably would have been outside of their element.

We watched lots of Disney movies. Well, they played in the background whilst the business of playing with trucks and out on the patio, during sun-breaks, took place. They didn’t seem to notice the flicks of animation until they were over . . . then they proceeded to beg me to turn on another. And I was in the mood to indulge. So the tv and dvd player will have less visitors the next few days . . . I hope the weather gets better so we can live outdoors.

Ok, I also have to say . . . Tobias turned 3 years old three weeks ago and, if I’m not mistaken, he’s changing . . . and not for the better ( not better for mother tucker anyway). I thought I had it bad with tantrums from, a bit before two on, but this isn’t tantrums this is just a bad attitude or something. My mom told me yesterday she was gonna tell me that 3 years old is crappier than 2 years old when I complained about the 2 year old era but she didn’t want to scare me. Great. So here I am, terrible 3’s? Ugh! He’s usually not hard to discipline but I’m having to be more direct with him and really talk to him about what he’s doing . . . so much more energy.

Alrighty, I’m done whining. I’ve got it made, I tell ya, I’m home with my kiddos . . . what a blessing!! And I get to deal with the different stages, instead having to leave it someone else’s hands . . . its a gift and I know it.

So I mentioned I started jogging early morning . . . yeah, Justin’s work schedule changed for him to be there, majority of the week, at 5:30am. Guess what, I don’t have a treadmill and I ain’t runnin’ in the dark in this here neighborhood. I’m not sure I would in any neighborhood. So, back to work out videos but as it warms, I’ll get my jiggle on . . . in other words, I’ll run more. Sorry if that creates too much visualization for ya.

Alrighty I got some pics of the boys for ya from today. I do love pictures, mostly my own, but I love looking at other people’s photos too. I can go to flickr and look at random photos for hours . . . odd, you say . . . maybe but there are some pretty professional looking photos there. Type in ‘light’ in the search bar and it brings up some nice pics! Mine, not so professional . . . but fun nonetheless.

Braxton and Samuel, focused on Retro Rocket . . . super toy.

Tobias, Braxton on Retro Rocket and Samuel . . . apparently Retro Rocket and its rider are hypnotizing . . . this is the first glance of still life I had all day. And, yes, that is the very popular Cars movie playing on the screen . . . and, yes, no one is watching it.

This is more like it . . . chasing the pooch for the millionth time. Byron looks defeated but I’m pretty sure he’s also chewing up one the stolen crackers he managed whilst the chasing occurred.

Where the pooch goes when the tots have bestowed too much loving attention.

This is what it did most of the day . . . well, weirdly intense moments of sunshine, then this, then some rain, then some really intense sunshine, then this, then some rain . . . you get it?  Yeah, crrrraazy weather we’ve been gettin’.  I think they call it spring . . . maybe cuz it springs back and forth from winter to summer until summer finally takes over, eh?  Like that one?

I’m done jabbering.  I’m home alone tonight . . . today was/is Justin’s official shift day . . . Sunday was a makeup day since he missed last week’s. Thats my excuse for writing so much in one sitting.  I really really want some fatty butt ice cream . . . like Ben and Jerry’s S’mores . . . so bad, yet so good. I think I’ll go to bed instead. Can’t gain calories (i.e. more fat) by sleeping instead of eating, eh?

God Bless!

I didn’t mean for that last post to sound self righteous.  I have my many faults and do not live up to, even, my own standards most of the time . . . much less that of a faultless God. I am so very grateful for the grace God has chosen to show me in this life and lean completely and utterly on that . . . truth is something I’ve been convicted about gaining more of, through the Word, to balance out my daily walk with Jesus.

Nothing new to really update anyone on.  I do want to give honor to God for the place we call home right now.  A misunderstanding of a letter we received insinuated that we weren’t eligible to live here but it was ironed out quickly and we are no worse for wear.  God just keeps providing and keeps giving us favor where its obviously HIM.

And, again, finances just keep coming through! We are blessed with much more than money, but the finances are a necessity.

So, Justin tested for an officer position this past week; interview, written test, peer and teacher reviews . . . all 36 people left in the program did.  He should hear back next week.  Lieutenant or Captain (I believe) are one of the two he could be placed in . . . several people will be.  This is for the fire program and he will be over the first year students come Summer term.  Just the current update. So school is going good! He’s got a much more laid back term than last term . . . he’s home more frequently and he’s able to get to work study more often.

Samuel started going down the slide, at the playground, by himself.  For the past 3 months or so, he would climb the stairs just fine but then wait at the top for me to come set him on his rump and help him slide.  I kinda got busy talking to someone while they were playing and recognized he was at the top of the slide . . .  apparently I took too long; before I knew he was  squealing with delight as he came to the base of the slide. Tobias was on the slide next to him, so I’m sure he was watching and receiving coaching from his elder brother . . . but since then he has it figured out.  So very cute!! He’ll be 20 months May 12th and that means he nearing the 2 year mark! Crazy how life gets away from me . . .

Tobias, in the past couple of months has picked up singing. Mostly with his favorite movies and cd’s and sometimes to the radio with a random song. He mimics the sound and the words aren’t so clear but that does not keep the laughter at bay from mom and dad . . . or to keep us from joining him.  So far he’s been my hippety hopper (quite the moves that boy has!!) and now my crooner.  His dramatic nature just makes it so fun! I love it when he fake falls to the floor or dramatically fakes it as he runs into the wall and to the floor. I’m not sure where he picked that up but he’s obviously acting it out. And we really really have to keep an eye on what he watches cuz he mimics and acts out the stories and words with his toys, words and hands.

I have 15 pounds to go before I’m where I want to be physically.  Doesn’t seem like much but the last bit is so stubborn and motivation wanes with each passing pound. Thanks to Kacy I’ve revved it up with Billy Blanks’ Taebo videos.  I get so sore and keep saying “darn you, Billy Blanks, darn you,” whilst shaking my fist at the sky.  Justin keeps telling me that thats a really creepy thing to do and to knock it off.  hee hee. You know that just eggs me on. haa haa He’s not amused.

Well, geez . . . there’s an earful for ya . . . or eyeful, whatever.

We are in Harrisburg this fine weekend.  We are to be visiting and spending the night at some dear friends of ours, house.  An overnighter . . . thats a first in a long time, minus my parent’s house.  A bit nervous I am but so at ease when I remember how much we are loved and accepted by these cool people we call friends.

Welp . . . God bless!  I hope all of your weekends are fabulously full of family, friends and good times!!

mmm mmm . . . hotness! My hubby . . . don’t tell him I posted this, it would embarrass him.

Tobias might be slightly confused.  He received a birthday card, in the mail, from grandma (my mom) last Sunday and toted it around for 3 or 4 days. The card was a bit larger than a regular birthday card and Thomas the Train graced the front and interior of it. The center, sort of kind of, popped up when you opened the card. I explained that his birthday was this week and so on.  So its been Tobias’ birthday for nearly a week, in his mind I’m sure.

To add to the confusion, I bake a cake . . . a nice cake, mind you . . . and Justin, myself, Tobias and Sam all celebrated together last night, after our trip to Toys’R'Us for him to spend the gift card that had been enclosed in the card Grandma M. sent.

Tobias on our way to Toys’R'Us . . . mmm juice

Tobias admiring some of his gifts . . . ones he picked out Very concentrated!

Pics of the cake . . . nothing spectacular but it turned out to be a good carrot cake w/cream cheese frosting . . . and, of course, candy ocean decs.

Tobias blowing the candles out . . . he was so proud of himself! So cute!

Tobias, thoroughly enjoying his gigantic piece of cake . . . not sure what I was thinking.

Samuel, enjoying a generous helping of T’s bday cake.

So we had much fun with Tobias yesterday afternoon/evening and then I went to the party warehouse place up here in Keizer and bought a few things to decorate for today’s extravaganza.  My sisters and their offspring came up today to celebrate, yet again, the 3 years Tobias has graced us with his personality and presence . . . 3 years that I am beyond grateful for.

In the midst of decorating for today (late last night) . . . remember we are in an apartment . . . at least until J is out of school . . . excuse the ugly pantry doors. hee hee

We had a great time hanging out and reconnecting (its been awhile since I had seen them all)  . . . we also utilized the playground. What else are you going to do with 3 toddlers and a 10 month old baby?

My sister, Amy, and her gargantuan camera . . . she is always the designated photographer . . . her own fault for buying such a load of camera! :)  Nah, she loves it!

My sista, Tiff, feeding Aidrik . . . he’s 10 months old! Holy mackerel, where has time flown to?

My eldest sister, Kelli, um . . . she’s concentrating real hard on that bag of chips . . . I think . . . Look at Toby, I think he’s frightened a little bit.

All the tots at play . . . thank goodness for playgrounds!

Samuel is covering his legs in bark-a-mulch . . . Braxton is digging in the potted flowers, aka throwing dirt with glee . . . and Tobias is happily playing with a few of his new cars and trucks.  I believe we called it quits outside seconds after this shot . . . the boys were getting very tired and it was warm . . . almost hot today, so we had had our fill.

The cupcakes created just for today’s fiesta.  Easy peasy and fun . . . nothing worth writing home about, but it cured the sugar craving of one 3 year old and 6 other hungry patrons. . .with the help a little banana cream pie icecream on the side.

Tobias water-painting for the first time, thanks to Aunt Kelli for the gift of the paints and book! Check out the cupcake in his right hand . . . hee hee

He got so much from his Toys R Us run we picked these hideous monster trucks out for him (he loves them!!) and waited until to today to give them to him.  He went to bed tonight . . . his monster trucks resting by his pillow.

Samuel managed to finagle two monster trucks from Tobias’ hot hand . . . no idea how!

So, there’s the picture show.  Hope it wasn’t too dull. I decided I didn’t want to be up until 3am editing pictures and such . . . so I just put them on here as is.  I tend to do this blog thing more for me and my fam than anything else, so there it is.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Tobias . . . many many many more to come!! God willing.

God Bless!

I’ve kind of, sort of, set this week apart, writing wise, for Tobias.  He turns 3 years old April 11th . . . Friday; geez, where has time gone?!  I’m going to wear that “where has time gone?” statement out . . . better think of about 20 more as he gets older each year, be a bummer to use the same statement every year. When he’s 40, I’ll be like “holy macrel, and I thought I was old!” . . . of course I will be almost 70 years old at that time. ha ha.

When I visit my parents that live several states away and my brothers, that live in the area, are hanging out as well . . . it hits home that my boys will eventually grow up to be men.  I’m not sure why it took me nearly 2 years into this to figure that out, but it did. The do not stay little boys, they grow to be giant men with dreams, personalities, hang-ups, passions, and faith of their own. I say giant because my brother Bill is 6′6″ and my other two bro’s are over 6′2″ . . . so it feels like they are gigantic.  I never thought that when I lived at home; my dad is 6′4″, so it runs in the old family line, but now I’m married to a man 5′10″ (average height), they seem huge.  I hug my bro, Billy, and my face barely comes to his chest height . . . um, weird.  I’m 5′10″, so I ain’t a shorty. His wife is 5′1″ or so, funny but their personalities are definite matches!

Anyway, some days I try to imagine what Tobias will look like and be like as he gets older.  And then my mind tends to wander back over how my brothers were as we grew up.  I was older than all of them, by only 2 years older than Billy though. They are just so different, except Jon, than I would have thought when they were kids; self-centered, whiny, wrestling-happy, and mean (we were siblings, they like to poke fun) little boys.  Now Billy is a welder in Nevada, mellow, hard working and fun to boot; no fun being poked my way at all! Jon is a dramatic, social, easy going and a stand up comedian (no matter who is around or where you are), Joshua is passionate about skateboarding . . . and he’s good at, easy going, quick to smile and laugh, loves his nephews, and tends to enjoy life; he’s exactly 10 years younger . . . thats the only way I keep his age straight. Otherwise I picture him as an awkward 13 year old all the time.  All three are handsome and well-rounded . . . they have my rock of a dad and my loving and supportive mom to thank for that.

So I watched them morph into the adults they are now.  I see how my parents loved them no matter the freak music they decided they loved, or the hairstyle they decided to sport, or the piercings, or the clothing, or the bad decisions made along the way . . .there was correction, don’t get me wrong, but their love was never ever ever doubted.  I experienced the same with my parents.  “Gentle but strong” . . . a saying that all the horse people I ever knew or rode with said many a time.  And I do think it applies to parenting as well.

You cannot love your child and omit discipline . . . you love your child, you will discipline . . . because you care where your child will end up 1 year, 2 years, 20 years down the road . . . true love cares for more than what feels good right now, or shuts them up right now . . . it cares for their very soul’s condition and their spirit.

There are so many parallels in parenting and our relationship with God, and the above is one . . . your Heavenly Father loves you, therefor HE will discipline . . . HE loves you too much to let the things that keep you from him continue.  Thats how you know the love of God is for you.

Wow, what a wondering post, sorry.  I’m just enthralled with the ‘growing up’ process of my boys right now. Tobias is looking less “baby” everyday and I’m caught off guard by his continuous flow of words and expressions . . . words and expression I actually understand immediately!

I thank God for the opportunity to have birthed Tobias and raise him the best I can under God’s grace and direction . . . I’m humbled daily by my role in life right now and I pray I can be even more humble and allow God to just have HIS way in my kids . . . talk about an awesome character to pass on . . . But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law -Galations 5:22-23

God Bless!

My youngest brother, Joshua, showing Tobias how to skateboard last February . . . too cute! T loves his uncles!

Wish flowers have a possibility of going extinct this year . . . its disastrous news, with the Dandelions being ripped from their very stems of life at an early age . . .while the petals are still intact . . . at times, the petals haven’t even completely bloomed . . . with fewer Dandelion flowers coming to maturation . . . there will be fewer wish flowers to be had. They are disappearing by the thousands and there is only one explanation . . . one reason for this sudden depletion of the noxious weed . . . Tobias Tucker.

Oh, he looks innocent, folks, but don’t be fooled by appearances! Take into consideration what his busy hands have done . . . the impact on the wild Dandelion is irreversible! Once he has had his fun . . . he leaves them all over to rot and wilt . . . anywhere he happens to be, they fall from his fists to the floor, the couch, my bed, his bed, his brother’s bed . . . anywhere . . . even on my foot-bench (see below)

The carnage!! The very disrespect for life! The Horror! A gift of death left for Mother Tucker on her very bed’s foot-bench . . . by none other than Tobias; Dandelion Annihilator.

I point out the flowers to Tobias on a regular basis.  He likes to pick the flowers and carry them with him until they resemble nothing of their former glory. Obviously its not flowers out of meticulously preened flower beds that I allow the pickings to occur . . . its the Dandelions and other wild flower types that his chubby, nearly 3 year old, hand pulls up. He will repeat the word flower many times and by then end of most walks he has quite the smooshed, orange and green, bouquet forming in his warm palm.

His favorite of all, though, is the Dandelion after its gone to seed . . . known familiarly as the wish flower . . . blow the cotton-like seeds into the air as you make wish.  He loves blowing off all the feathery seeds.  It took some convincing he didn’t need to blow on every flower, wish flower or not, that he picked . . . though I’m not sure why I’m driven to correct him in his imaginings . . . so dull we adults can be.

This coming Friday, April 11th, marks three years that . . . THREE years, I gave birth to Tobias via induction.  I had a pretty severe case of preeclampsia and the doctor was worried about me keeling over in the midst of the going ons of my life. Yeah, that’d be bad, I suppose. Anyhoo . . . induced I was and 6 hours later I saw Tobias for the first time . . . though not for long as he was wheeled away to the NICU due to oxygen saturation levels being in the red.

Ok, I will write about Tobias, the birth and raising for the past three years, all week.

I wrote to mention this.

Hence the reason for the heading on my blog . . . its a wish flower, if you couldn’t tell by my crop and resizing job.

Tobias’ favorite.

New momma . . . I had no idea what lay in store for me.  I praise God He kept me and my boys under HIS grace . . . and HE still does!!  

I avoided it at all costs . . . we ate our picnic to the side of the it . . . walked around it, Byron in tow, boys running amok. But it’s gravitational pull finally sucked us in . . . Byron was placed back in the van (I can only chase so many boys) and we headed for the overcrowded but so brightly colored playground at my favorite park.  My favorite because its so open and wooded and pretty and  . . . open.  We can run around, all our energies being burned off without stepping foot on the playground area where the boys decide they need to run opposite directions and endanger themselves while I’m tending to the other across the bark littered gauntlet. All the while being friendly and smiley towards all children and adults that I come in contact with in any way. “Aaack, where’s Tobias?” Obviously when Hubby is with us, that panic is not there . . . I just tote around behind Samuel, helping him climb the steep stairs to the slide and then sitting him down for the sliding part prior to him trying to walk down it . . . ugh.

The other thing is . . . my boys wore shorts.  You heard me, shorts! They had layers of cute shirts with the vests for warmth, but shorts adorned their lower half . . . SO VERY CUTE! And my, Toby is getting tall and . . . oh my, Samuel has short legs and a long body . . . thanks, Grandpa Matthews.

Yeah, I forgot my camera . . . bummer! Cuz they were cute!!

Spring is here . . . this is one of my favorite types of flowers . . . an African Daisy . . . this is not one of my own photos, I stole it from a random flickr account. I’m cool like that.

God Bless!