Mother Tucker

The time thingy majig on my wordpress blog is screwed up and I, in my ultra limited computer experience, have yet to figure out how to correct it.  I’ve changed it but it still reflects the wrong time of day.

So, take my word for it, its getting late here in the Tucker house.  Hubby Tucker is on shift and won’t be home til late tomorrow afternoon, hopefully.

I’ve been putting together a photo book and have yet to fully conclude that it is the best option for me.  I almost miss buying albums and shoving photo prints in them just to take up time that I should be doing laundry or scrubbing toilets . . . something, the scrubbing bit, I should do more of.

I think, actually, its taking me more time to put these virtual photo albums together to pay someone else to print them, and mail them.  Hmmm.  Food for thought. Now if I went back, got together the prints I wanted and went in search of a pretty little photo album, it would be double the time! Aaack!

Who cares . . . time is something I have a tiny bit of right now anyway; in general.  Decisions decisions.

So, off to bed I go.  Up bright and early with the tots . . . and the neighbors, but mostly the tots. Oh, to clarify, sorry . . . I have upstairs neighbors in this apartment complex . . . yeah, thats all I’m gonna say about that.

Ok, nighty night!

God Bless!

My Tots are morning people . . . I don’t smile like that until I’ve drained half the coffee pot.

Mother’s Day . . . a day I attribute to my mother, not me.  I’ve been a mother only 3 years, and only to 2 children.  My mother has been a mother for 32 years, going on 33 years on June, and she’s been a fantastic mom to 7 kids, and one more added when she was a teenager; so 8 kids.  We’re all grown up and moved out now but she still takes up responsibility for us when we get in a pickle . . . more or less financially, anymore.  But her moral support and wisdom take the cake.  The older I get the more I’m aware of our similarities and quirks that mirror each others . . .  I’m sure I’m mirroring her more than the other way around . . .

That’s my momma on the left (obviously) and daddy and he’s holding Braxton, my nephew . . . and then Samuel is in my mom’s lap and Tobias is there too. This was July of last year, so a bit dated.

So my thoughts are with my mom today. Of course the card I bought was late being mailed so she won’t get until Tuesday or something but its the thought, right.  And I have a reputation to uphold here, you know.

I woke up this morning and my husband had beat me to the punch; getting the alert kiddos out of their cribs, feeding them, changing them, etc.  I went walk/jogging cuz I was feeling mighty guilty about the pizza I ate last night and I like to walk by myself . . . well, by myself with Bonko Byron

Yep, Bonko Byron . . . that would be the white streak of white off to your right.

Ah, it was a beautiful morning too . . . sunshine and all.  We went about 3 miles or so and came home.  My batteries a bit more charged.

Knowing Justin did have to put some hours in at work I didn’t want to bug him about going to the park or anything but it slipped anyway and he immediately agreed.  We packed Toby’s big wheel and the stroller and headed to Minto Brown Park . . . paved bike paths galore!!  Justin was teaching Tobias how to peddle the big wheel and when that got old . . . which, with a three year old, doesn’t take very long . . . played on the playground and then walked down to the dog park to let Bonko Byron run his energetic butt off. All with thick rain clouds intermixed with bright blue and sunshine . . . gorgeous and one of my favorite types of weather. Gotta compromise straight sunshine here in the Western bit of Oregon, eh.

You guessed it, I forgot my camera . . . again. But thats alright, I enjoyed myself so much that I would have forgotten it was there anyway.

Oh yeah, I got a card too . . . so funny . . . so Justin’s humor and it made it that much more special; and the one-of-a-kind Toby art drawn inside. Love it!

Words that describe how I feel about motherhood, in my severely limited experience:

*Love

*Fulfilling

*Protective

*Unconditional

*Sacrificial

*Overwhelming

*Challenging

*Commitment

*Insecure

*Secure

*Lonely

*Busy

*Tiring

*Worry

*Prayerful

*Hope

*Snuggle

Most of all I wanna be the best mom I can be to both my boys . . . as different as they are, I want them to come to their full potential; not in the world’s standards, but their full potential in what God has for them.  That their lives be full of the fruits of spirit because of their personal relationship with the one true God . . . spilling over into every part of their existence. And that they have confidence, not in and of themselves, but confidence in the one who ultimately created them and know His love and truth are secure no matter what happens in their natural world.

Again, this is July of 2007 . . . the boys were: Tobias 27 months and Samuel 10 months . . . give or take a few weeks. Oh yeah, and thats me, tanned from summer sun. Love that summer sun. I think Tobias was trying to get down and push Sam away at the same time; quite the feat.  And Sam was glaring or something at Tobias. hee hee . . . they were both squirming, I remember that.

So I have many friends and family that take on the same challenges, and more, in mothering their children . . . I want to wish you all a  Happy Mother’s Day and I hope your day was as full of peace and love!!

God Bless!

I didn’t mean for that last post to sound self righteous.  I have my many faults and do not live up to, even, my own standards most of the time . . . much less that of a faultless God. I am so very grateful for the grace God has chosen to show me in this life and lean completely and utterly on that . . . truth is something I’ve been convicted about gaining more of, through the Word, to balance out my daily walk with Jesus.

Nothing new to really update anyone on.  I do want to give honor to God for the place we call home right now.  A misunderstanding of a letter we received insinuated that we weren’t eligible to live here but it was ironed out quickly and we are no worse for wear.  God just keeps providing and keeps giving us favor where its obviously HIM.

And, again, finances just keep coming through! We are blessed with much more than money, but the finances are a necessity.

So, Justin tested for an officer position this past week; interview, written test, peer and teacher reviews . . . all 36 people left in the program did.  He should hear back next week.  Lieutenant or Captain (I believe) are one of the two he could be placed in . . . several people will be.  This is for the fire program and he will be over the first year students come Summer term.  Just the current update. So school is going good! He’s got a much more laid back term than last term . . . he’s home more frequently and he’s able to get to work study more often.

Samuel started going down the slide, at the playground, by himself.  For the past 3 months or so, he would climb the stairs just fine but then wait at the top for me to come set him on his rump and help him slide.  I kinda got busy talking to someone while they were playing and recognized he was at the top of the slide . . .  apparently I took too long; before I knew he was  squealing with delight as he came to the base of the slide. Tobias was on the slide next to him, so I’m sure he was watching and receiving coaching from his elder brother . . . but since then he has it figured out.  So very cute!! He’ll be 20 months May 12th and that means he nearing the 2 year mark! Crazy how life gets away from me . . .

Tobias, in the past couple of months has picked up singing. Mostly with his favorite movies and cd’s and sometimes to the radio with a random song. He mimics the sound and the words aren’t so clear but that does not keep the laughter at bay from mom and dad . . . or to keep us from joining him.  So far he’s been my hippety hopper (quite the moves that boy has!!) and now my crooner.  His dramatic nature just makes it so fun! I love it when he fake falls to the floor or dramatically fakes it as he runs into the wall and to the floor. I’m not sure where he picked that up but he’s obviously acting it out. And we really really have to keep an eye on what he watches cuz he mimics and acts out the stories and words with his toys, words and hands.

I have 15 pounds to go before I’m where I want to be physically.  Doesn’t seem like much but the last bit is so stubborn and motivation wanes with each passing pound. Thanks to Kacy I’ve revved it up with Billy Blanks’ Taebo videos.  I get so sore and keep saying “darn you, Billy Blanks, darn you,” whilst shaking my fist at the sky.  Justin keeps telling me that thats a really creepy thing to do and to knock it off.  hee hee. You know that just eggs me on. haa haa He’s not amused.

Well, geez . . . there’s an earful for ya . . . or eyeful, whatever.

We are in Harrisburg this fine weekend.  We are to be visiting and spending the night at some dear friends of ours, house.  An overnighter . . . thats a first in a long time, minus my parent’s house.  A bit nervous I am but so at ease when I remember how much we are loved and accepted by these cool people we call friends.

Welp . . . God bless!  I hope all of your weekends are fabulously full of family, friends and good times!!

mmm mmm . . . hotness! My hubby . . . don’t tell him I posted this, it would embarrass him.

I grew up being a pastor’s kid in a non-denominational church. That was 15 years of my life (age 10 on). So I was fully aware of “callings” and the like . . . all the religious jargen associated. I truly feel like my day in and day out, comings and goings, are what God has called me to. My eyes being focused on the one we were created to worship (Jesus) and letting the overflow of that . . . the fruits of being in HIS Spirit . . . effect my daily contacts and life. How I choose to treat my upstairs apartment neighbor is just as important as how I portray Jesus and HIS teachings in a message to thousands (I haven’t had the opportunity to do that, by the way). So I don’t have a clue what my “future” calling is . . . but I know what God has laid in my life and path to do today . . . raise my boys to truly know HIM, treat all humanity with the love and grace of our Saviour, and be the best wife possible.

As for dreaming, I dream about going back to Africa as a missionary . . . to somehow be involved in placing orphans and bringing a solid and truthful knowledge of Jesus where hope seems depleted. If thats in the cards God has for me, so be it.

I’m learning daily that I’m loved by an amazing and gracious God. I yearn for truth and wisdom . . . as much I do for grace and mercy . . . having more grace than truth is spiritually off balance . . . I’ve always leaned more on the side of grace and God is really convicting me to balance it out a bit with more truth.

I always thought I was adventurous.  Hey, I had traveled to Africa . . . lived in the ghettos of the outskirts of Nairobi . . . met and fell in love with a people  and land that I will never ever forget . . . a life altering experience (with God’s grace and protection).  I’ve experienced 50 mile endurance races . . . on horseback, that is . . . taking place on land and with people I knew nothing of; just colored tagging ribbons to light the non-path.  I’ve scuba dived and will continue to scuba dive the open ocean with my hunk of a husband. Fear has never been a strangle hold for me . . . as I know loved ones have dealt with. Don’t get me wrong . . . I’m not a daredevil, but I don’t mind indulging in the unknown, etc; and I definitely definitely have my limits!!

We move to Salem, Oregon and I am paralyzed in my apartment.  I ventured out in my own neighborhood . . . I have driven all of ten miles to a nice park on the edge of the Willamette University Campus . . . but I haven’t made an effort, at all, to get to know the city in which we’ve chosen to reside for the 3 years of Justin’s schooling.

Yesterday Justin and I went to South Salem . . . which seems much nicer than the area I live (which scares me in part. . . what was that about fear?) and enjoyed an immense park (like 900 acres).  They have an off-leash dog park area, consisting of 25 of those acres! Nice! Byron got to run about willy nilly and the boys had a chance to also wear themselves out quite nicely (reason for the early nap today)  . . . so we will be back there soon. And, of course, I forgot my camera.

But it hit me that, by summer, I need to have scouted out hiking opportunities, walking paths, swimming areas and hang outs that don’t require us to be on busy streets.  I might have to put my explorer hat on and take on the task.  Not ‘might’ . . . I have to . . . or I will go nuts holed up in my tiny area of Salem with very little to do.

Thats all I got to say about that.  I miss Eugene, mostly because I knew where stuff was . . . hiking, swimming, etc . . . but there is an excitement with figuring out new areas, getting lost, finding my way, etc.

God Bless!

So my pooch has decided that he needed pee on my floor . . . not once but 3 times in one week.  This is not ok . . . an occasional accident due to the negligence and absent-mindedness of the owner, thats understandable. Being outside to potty, coming inside and peeing in my floor within an hour and a half . . . all three times . . . not ok.

I was hot to trot, as they say, and the hubby received an email with some not-so-nice content about the dog he chose and how he needs a new home, etc.  Yeah, not a friendly email.  But the ‘hot-headedness’ wore off and I forgave, once again, the goofball of a dog known as Bye Bye (thanks to Tobias’ version of Byron).

Now, this is a 3 year old dog . . . well house trained since he’s resided in our home (wherever that may be) his entire life.  So, we’re gonna try getting out for walks, at least once a day . . . despite the weather. I’ve been hanging indoors, only going outside to let the boys romp about at the playground . . . doing my cardio indoors to Billy Blanks (thank you, K!) and the crazy Australian kickboxing lady.  Thats gonna have to change, I do believe . . . if we are to hang onto the dog I’ve come to tolerate and the boys adore.

I do love walking/jogging outdoors but I’m also routine oriented to a fault. Once I get started on a certain workout regime, thats what I do, day in and day out. So, with the weather turning cold/rainy once again, indoors win out.  Learn to be flexible . . . thats what I need, I suppose.  I’ll add it to the list of stuff to work on. Getting out and about will be easier as the weather gets nicer.

So, you can tell I’ve got many exciting things happening in my life right now. I’m talking about my dog peeing on the floor . . . can’t get anymore exciting than that!

God Bless!!

I’ve kind of, sort of, set this week apart, writing wise, for Tobias.  He turns 3 years old April 11th . . . Friday; geez, where has time gone?!  I’m going to wear that “where has time gone?” statement out . . . better think of about 20 more as he gets older each year, be a bummer to use the same statement every year. When he’s 40, I’ll be like “holy macrel, and I thought I was old!” . . . of course I will be almost 70 years old at that time. ha ha.

When I visit my parents that live several states away and my brothers, that live in the area, are hanging out as well . . . it hits home that my boys will eventually grow up to be men.  I’m not sure why it took me nearly 2 years into this to figure that out, but it did. The do not stay little boys, they grow to be giant men with dreams, personalities, hang-ups, passions, and faith of their own. I say giant because my brother Bill is 6′6″ and my other two bro’s are over 6′2″ . . . so it feels like they are gigantic.  I never thought that when I lived at home; my dad is 6′4″, so it runs in the old family line, but now I’m married to a man 5′10″ (average height), they seem huge.  I hug my bro, Billy, and my face barely comes to his chest height . . . um, weird.  I’m 5′10″, so I ain’t a shorty. His wife is 5′1″ or so, funny but their personalities are definite matches!

Anyway, some days I try to imagine what Tobias will look like and be like as he gets older.  And then my mind tends to wander back over how my brothers were as we grew up.  I was older than all of them, by only 2 years older than Billy though. They are just so different, except Jon, than I would have thought when they were kids; self-centered, whiny, wrestling-happy, and mean (we were siblings, they like to poke fun) little boys.  Now Billy is a welder in Nevada, mellow, hard working and fun to boot; no fun being poked my way at all! Jon is a dramatic, social, easy going and a stand up comedian (no matter who is around or where you are), Joshua is passionate about skateboarding . . . and he’s good at, easy going, quick to smile and laugh, loves his nephews, and tends to enjoy life; he’s exactly 10 years younger . . . thats the only way I keep his age straight. Otherwise I picture him as an awkward 13 year old all the time.  All three are handsome and well-rounded . . . they have my rock of a dad and my loving and supportive mom to thank for that.

So I watched them morph into the adults they are now.  I see how my parents loved them no matter the freak music they decided they loved, or the hairstyle they decided to sport, or the piercings, or the clothing, or the bad decisions made along the way . . .there was correction, don’t get me wrong, but their love was never ever ever doubted.  I experienced the same with my parents.  “Gentle but strong” . . . a saying that all the horse people I ever knew or rode with said many a time.  And I do think it applies to parenting as well.

You cannot love your child and omit discipline . . . you love your child, you will discipline . . . because you care where your child will end up 1 year, 2 years, 20 years down the road . . . true love cares for more than what feels good right now, or shuts them up right now . . . it cares for their very soul’s condition and their spirit.

There are so many parallels in parenting and our relationship with God, and the above is one . . . your Heavenly Father loves you, therefor HE will discipline . . . HE loves you too much to let the things that keep you from him continue.  Thats how you know the love of God is for you.

Wow, what a wondering post, sorry.  I’m just enthralled with the ‘growing up’ process of my boys right now. Tobias is looking less “baby” everyday and I’m caught off guard by his continuous flow of words and expressions . . . words and expression I actually understand immediately!

I thank God for the opportunity to have birthed Tobias and raise him the best I can under God’s grace and direction . . . I’m humbled daily by my role in life right now and I pray I can be even more humble and allow God to just have HIS way in my kids . . . talk about an awesome character to pass on . . . But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law -Galations 5:22-23

God Bless!

My youngest brother, Joshua, showing Tobias how to skateboard last February . . . too cute! T loves his uncles!

Alright . . . some good friends of ours gave me a bag of popcorn kernels . . . is that what you call them before they’re popped? How old am I? Why don’t I know the answer to that?

Anyway . . . I have never popped popcorn outside of a prepackaged microwavable bag . . . careful opening it, its hot!

Ok, so I had a bit of the munchies (no I don’t smoke pot) yesterday and decided that that would be a healthier munchy than, say, cookies or candy . . . the two that were also on the mind’s list of yummy edibles.

If you weren’t aware I’m working on losing the next 20 lbs of flab that has stuck itself to my ribs (thighs, arms, fingers, butt, etc) and so healthy was gnawing at the back of my mind.

I read the directions (crazy!!) and decided it sounded easy peasy.  And it was easy peasy! And oh so good!!

If you choose to follow my diet ideas . . . be aware that tiny 1/3 cup of kernels pops a gigantic bowl of popcorn . . . the popcorn you then must drizzle with olive oil and salt it until tastes as though it came from the sea.

Yes, my friends . . . not so healthy after I mutilated it.  And I had one bowl (or barrel, whatever) . . . I did share with my boys, but how much can a 3 year old and 1 1/2 year old actually eat?

Then hubby came home and we were hanging out after the chitlins had drifted to sleep and I was going on and on about how good the “real” popcorn turned out, compared to crappy microwave popcorn.  I went on so much that he asked me to make some, that it sounded good.

Um . . . so I did.  And then I proceeded to eat over half the bowl (barrel) of popcorn cuz apparently he wasn’t as impressed or something.

So, diet didn’t go so well yesterday.

But, on a brighter note . . . I have started jogging outdoors in the wee morning hours, before the house wakes to the chaotic. I have found such solace in my time out . . . I take my crazy Jack, Byron, and we hit the pavement. I’m able to get home, take a shower, get dressed (for the day!!) and have breakfast on its way before the boys start screeching and talking from their cribs.

Mind you, its been COLD here . . . in the 35 or so when I start up at 6:45am . . . but I warm quickly the jostling of jogging and its been tolerable . . . though I’ve decided I still hate the rain.

So, one of my friends, K, and I are planning on a 5k in the fall . . small goal but not so small at the same time.  Maybe I’ll actually be in shape for it. weird

Ok, I’m going now.  Hubby is back to school and shift today . . . so I’m on my own . . . though I was pretty much ready for a day to myself, so thats cool . . . ask me in a week . . . I’ll be ready for him to be on break again.

God Bless!!

Upclose Byron . . . my crazy and obnoxious Jack Russell 

I attempt to live right, do the right thing . . . in general keep standards that are in check with my very core nature; the goodness God has placed there.

But today I allowed some actions and words loose before thinking and I regret them fully.  I do that, a lot actually, but today was a bit aggressive and not like me . . . so I almost feel like I’m still in shock with my own actions. It was nothing horrendous . . . don’t read into it more than what I’m stating . . . just worse than I want to lay claim to.

Usually stuff like that is just a red light in life to take time out and spend some quality time in the presence of God.  Usually over-due.  So, thats where I’m headed . . . to get stuff right. I had to finish the project I started for Kelli and now I’m off this blood-sucking machine.

I am a truly blessed individual . . . I don’t know why I doubt that at times . . . but I am!! God help me!  I think I want a bumper sticker that says ‘pride sucks’. 

God Bless!

me and the Sam.  2007 

I do love coffee . . . good, bad and the ugly tasting. I’ve had it all and still carry a pretty strong affection for the naturally caffeinated beverage. But I normally limit myself to coffee in the morning and the last cup by lunch time. Otherwise sleep eludes me to the point that I get annoyed at night.

Tonight shall be a rare exception. I just downed the last drop of my cup of joe . . .

I’m doing some minor work for my sister’s rotary club and I managed to start it out wrong so I got to go back and fix what I did wrong and continue on my merry way with it. Not realizing until 10pm that I was currently on page 2 and there were 10 pages of things to be added to the presentation. Um, I’m not going to finish tonight, like I had hoped. I sit on my cushioned bench, created to rest at the foot of my bed, but its been recruited as a fancy looking computer chair . . . with no back support. Ugh! And I have decently strong back . . . still very uncomfortable after several hours. And I was sleepy by 9pm, so I heated up the last remaining dregs left in the cold coffee pot from this morning. It helped ok . . . I’m still awake and functioning to some degree . . . now taking a break and contemplating going to bed while I write this.

So, I believe, after reading one of my good friend’s blog posts about her running a 10K . . . I have been encouraged, in a round about way to start jogging again. I’m so hard on myself. Before Tobias was born I had whittled my body down from well over 200 lbs to under 165 . . . which is good for my 5′10″ frame . . . all by running approximately 20 miles a week. Thats not a lot but its a heck of a lot more than I’m doing right now!

I got big and chubby during the 3 prego years but have managed to lose all but 20 lbs of it, mostly by eating properly and exercising with my crazy kickboxing lady dvd’s in the house. Kids sure complicate things . . . or I use them as an excuse, that could be, at times. But now the weather is getting nice and we (I mostly, the kids are comfortably sitting in the stroller) casually jog/walk (mostly walk) nearly everyday, I think its time to jump-start the old jogging routine . . . build back up to my 3 - 4 miles stints a day. Considering a mile is not in the picture at this point . . . I’ve got a ways to go . . . but I’ll share my joys, sorrows and victories with the three people that read this goofy blog . . . no worries. I have problem with not spilling my guts anyway.

So, all is good with the world of Mother Tucker. I’m going to take pics . . . every morning that I jog . . . that’ll be a good motivator to get out and do it. You don’t even have to pretend interested . . . how about that?!

Thats me at the thought of goal-setting . . . always disappointment to be had along the way . . . its how you deal with the disappointment and move forward as to whether or not you will attain your goal.