Cool Down

The last few days have been much cooler than the few weeks prior. I walked this morning at 10:30am and it was still 65 degrees. Patchy sunshine, but still very cool. I enjoyed it. For one that enjoys the heat . . . mid-eighties to low-nineties is awesome . . . I do have to admit I relished the cool weather break.

I’ve had a bit of an attitude . . . one that was contained to my inner workings, but still present and nagging. I’m fine with not being the center of Justin’s world for a few short days and then, if I’m not reaffirmed and assured that, yes, I am the one and only for him (a tad dramatic) . . . well, my self-pity button gets pushed and I battle it or give into it. More lately, I’ve been battling it and I find that if I’m persistent that it does subside and our relationship is better for it.

And, get this, Justin has been gone for the better part of two weeks catching up with school . . . since, financially, we couldn’t get books until a month into the summer term. Now he has to cram for his online class and make up 4 tests and many many chapters of reading and an essay. On top of that he’s holding down his responsibilities . . . many of them new . . . at the fire house and . . . and, he’s working for Brooke’s Fire Department, pretty much everyday; doing odds and ends for them around the property. I have no idea, to this day, how he does this or where he gets the energy to even move one foot in front of the other at times, much less function on thought processing level after little to no sleep.

So, that, the above paragraph, that is what I’m getting jealous over. Cuz, face it, that’s what I’m battling. I’m jealous of his time and focus, etc. How frickin’ selfish can I possibly get? He does all this with an award-winning attitude.

So, I’m a bit repentant tonight. I’ve been convicted. He’s busy (understatement of the year) bettering our family with a future and I’m grumbling cuz he’s not here to help me pack and deal with discipline issues regarding two small toddlers . . . much less the personal one on one time I so miss with my best bud. Oh my. God help me understand what he’s dealing with . . . not just myself.

I went to my neighbor’s (who is also a good friend) church with her this past Sunday. People’s Church in Salem . . . its an Assemblies of God church . . . if that means anything really. The worship was very good and the word was right on. And then, yesterday, a friendly couple from the church stopped by with a loaf of bread from Great Harvest Bread Company, here in Salem . . . Apple Cinnamon. Oh my goodness gracious, grate balls of chicken crap!!! That has to be the best loaf of bread I have ever eaten in less than 24 hours . . . yes the kiddos helped a little but, mostly, it was my eating. Yeah . . . not something I can purchase every week cuz I would be 500 lbs by December but . . . once a month, maybe? This was accompanied with a nicely put together folder about their church and outreach programs and card thanking me for joining them Sunday. Very thoughtful . . . I didn’t feel like there was pressure to come back, just a thoughtful thank you.

It never ceases to amaze me that I take Byron, daily, on a 3 mile, plus, walk/jog . . . let him off leash for a minimum of 20 minutes to run about in a baseball field . . . take him out later in the afternoon while the boys run around the property (sometimes Byron too, though I’m not suppose to let him off leash . . . shhh, don’t tell on me) . . . and he is still playful and high energy when the day starts to draw to a close. These dogs, meaning the Jack Russell extraordinairs should all be on ranches and farms . . . or at least with property of some sort to run amok from the moment they wake until they crash at night. Thats all I have to say about that. And, no, we’re not getting rid of him . . . he’ll just have to deal with walks and baseball fields . . . and the occasional dog park excursion.

I think thats all I can conger up to blab about tonight. God’s grace is so abundantly available through this time in our lives . . . I really have no room or reason to whine.

God Bless!