Its Friday, if you weren’t aware. Most people are. I remember making a huge deal about fridays when I actually had a reason to look forward to one particular day that would be the last day of “work” and then two days of “not working”. Life was surely simple at one time. Ten years from now I’m gonna look back on these past few years and think “wow, that was sure a simple time.”
Maybe not.
But still . . . easier to look back and see the simplicity than find simplicity in the present.
At least for me.
I woke up this morning to Tob crawling into bed . . . his ice cold feet being the first thing to draw me from the depths of dreamland in to the early morning now. ugh. He curled up and was quiet for all of 2 minutes . . . then his hand was a spider crawling over my face and then he asked to eat breakfast . . . “get up get up, breakfast time!”
No noise from Sam . . . he was still sleeping. Angel child of mine. 
Finally . . . after it was confirmed he could eat cereal for breakfast and watch Wally sometime today, I gave up trying to sneak a few extra winks and got up . . . bleery eyed and EXHAUSTED.
This has been happening a lot the last few weeks, a month maybe. Just downright tired when I crawl out of bed. I blame being under the weather and having my teeth pulled in the middle of being ill . . . just trying to recuperate, I believe.
Can someone fill in for me til I feel better? . . . That’d be great. Thanks.
But . . . no, no one is coming, are they?
I just sat around after making breakfast . . . making breakfast, thats a laugh. Pouring bowls of cereal and adding milk . . . hard job, it is. Actually keeping the cereal coming as fast as they can devour it is the hard part. When did they start putting away so much food??!!
Anyway . . . just sat around trying to get the drive to be active and productive and all that. Finally got my butt up and decided a workout was in order. I managed to dress the boys, pack, load them up and get to the Kroc Center by 10:45am. Not bad.
I thought Tob was gonna have a conniption fit over not getting to swim right away. Instead I put both boys in child care, which they were both very excited about (weird), and went and worked out. I guess I should of worked out longer cuz Tob was totally not ready to go when I came to get them for swimming.
Kind of weirded me out really.
So that was our morning this morning. Now I have a diaper full of housework to do and I kind of want to nap. That is unfortunate . . . the working out didn’t make me feel any more awake. But we enjoyed ourselves.
Now the boys are sleeping soundly and I’m wasting even more time on here . . . I win!
Justin is at his clinical at Meridian Hospital, here in Salem, today. I believe he’s with the respiratory therapist. He was in the OR on Tuesday . . . he was putting the tubing stuff they use in the patient’s throats for operations, doing IV’s, administering drugs and all sorts of stuff. Wait a minute . . . maybe I should of gone to school for this stuff. Nah, I’m to air-brained. I don’t want my spaciness to truly kill anyone. I make him tell me everything he did and saw when he comes home from these things . . . follow him around the house, stalking him really and ask lots of questions. Sometimes a conversation with Justin feels more like an interrogation . . . me interrogating him, one question after another. I told him I wouldn’t do that so much if he would just talk more and fill in the details . . . you know, before I asked.
It really is amazing how much I feel I have to say to him after spending a day with a 3 and 4 year old. Just simple things. ”I really gotta cut my toenails, they’re getting out of hand.” ”Did you know Thanksgiving is next week?” (about the 20th time I’ve confirmed this with him in the past 2 days) Then sometimes I just talk and talk and talk . . . kind of like I do on here . . . from one subject to the next . . . filling him in on family drama and non-drama . . . talking about anything and everything. He doesn’t even pretend to listen and sometimes this annoys and offends me . . . but it doesn’t stop me from rambling on and on and on.
Something might be wrong with me.
Maybe I should be a hairdresser or a bartender.
Maybe I would be a really annoying hairdresser or bartender . . . and they’d just tell me to shutup.
Justin never tells me to shutup . . . if I stop and act offended he’s not listening . . . he tells me my dribble is distracting and weirdly soothing, to keep talking. :)
Thats what it is for you crazies that read my blog . . . weirdly soothing . . . hahaha!
I have decided Fred Meyer has the best Whole Wheat bagels of all time. Though Safeway does a stellar job too with their fresh bagels. MMM! I love a good bagel. And that whipped cream cheese, that stuff is from heaven above. Ok, maybe I’ve seen too many commercials.
I always buy the same kind of creamer. Vanilla non-fat. I bought vanilla nut this past week . . . talk about gross. The fake nut flavor made me gag. I bought coconut creme one time and could hardly taste the difference between that one and good ol’vanilla. I guess my usual is my usual for a reason.
Life keeps going. I feel really quite blessed . . . God just keeps providing and meeting us where we are.
Have a blessed weekend one and all!!
We live in an apartment. It is not small, it is not huge . . . its adequate in its 3 bedroom capacity to house our small family of 2 boys and a set of parents.
A couple of times a week I watch two more tots . . . same age as my boys, 3 and 4 . . . close enough that I can say that. I think Jordan turns 3 in December. Thats beside the point.
When you get 4 boys under 5 in an average sized 3 bedroom apartment . . . trapped indoors due to rain and hail and cold winds . . . it is amusing, trying and “I-should-be-documenting-this-for-some-reality-show-revealing-of-tot-behavior-whilst-trapped-indoors-for-hours” kind of feeling.
I’ll leave it to the producers to think of a shorter name for the documentary.
Perhaps
“Trying Times in Tot-Land”.
Or something stupid like that.
The boys I watch are fantastic kids. The listen and help pick up when I announce those times. They eat politely and are mostly nice to my boys. They use the potty . . . without me reminding them too much. They stay out of the garbage and leave the fridge alphabet magnets on the fridge . . . while and after playing with them. They buckle themselves in their carseats . . . no help from me, just a bit of supervision. They share, for the most part, and enjoy interacting with my kids.
Unlike some other tots that live here . . . that listen on when I get that tone in my voice and pick up if I’m standing over them. I’m pretty sure Tob had his dinner plate taken away tonight for throwing carrots at Sam, across the room, so the eating politely thing is stricken. I don’t think I’ll talk too much about the “being nice to others” bit . . . except to say that wrestling and rough housing is fine for a little while and then the boys were done . . . well, not my boys, just the boys I was watching. I hate poop . . . poop in the toilet!! ”Didn’t I just throw that empty Wheat Thins box in the garbage, Tob? Huh? Why are you using it for a car ramp? And, no, you can’t have the lid off he discarded milk carton either!” Gross! The stove is not my favorite spot for the alphabet magnets to be sported. You know, hefting a 20 pound 15 month old in a car seat . .. oh, who am I kidding . . . 30 pound 15 month old in a car seat was a feat of sorts. I do believe that constitutes as an all-body workout. Hoisting a 45 pound 4.5 year old into a car seat that now sits in a 4×4 SUV. . . I think my back is out. I don’t think Sam ever relinquished the highly sought after ‘Mac’ truck (from the movie Cars) . . . the one thats made of plastic that is missing half its parts, not to mention missing the trailer that attaches to it . . . piece of plastic crap. ”Take my friends back,” Tob kept saying all evening. I didn’t really comprehend what he was referring to . . . then Aaron decided to clarify . . . “I think he wants to you take us back home.” So frickin sweet my kids are! Like merchandise . . . just take them back. Hmmm . . . is there return/exchange for kids?
Actually I love my kids . . . no worries.
I mean . . . who couldn’t love this!
Two . . . two is a good number.
~blessings
Two postings in one week!? Wowza! And I’ve got 19 minutes before the battery to this darn thing runs out and forces me to close its white Apple top and head to bed.
Nothing really all that new today.
Oh, one simple realization . . . If you don’t want to consume apple pie because apple pie would be like a smack in the face of the weight loss regime you’re trying to implement . . . DO NOT bake one. The sheer smell is intoxicating.
I’m done talking about the apple pie.
No more baking for awhile.
Thats all I’m sayin’.
My gums where my bottom wisdom teeth once resided . . . they are sore still, a week after the extraction. Top gums fine . . . bottom gums kinda still very sore. Advil was cutting it until yesterday evening. I caved and took a Percuset (totally misspelled that) that was prescribed to me. And, unlike Vicadin (possibly misspelled that too) it does not make me nauseous but does make me a bit giddy. And my gums don’t hurt.
Bonus.
I took another for tonight’s sleeping wonderland . . . yet I’m up still. Hmmm.
Speaking of being on meds . . . my mind is shutting down . . . no thoughts are flowing and I’m suddenly very sleepy.
I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!! I hope to be attending my sister-in-laws baby shower Saturday. . . Yay! for baby on the way!! Ahhh, new babies. As long as he belongs to someone else. I love them so!!
~Blessings!
It is November already and I can’t even get close to getting over how quickly this past year has flooowwnn by. Blows my mind actually.
The boys are doing fantastic! Tob enjoys school so very much . . . Sam is huge. Huge, I tell you! Yeah, he wears size 5. 5. Size 5. Tob and Sam wear the same size in clothes and are about size apart in shoes. They are 17 months apart, right?
Just checking.
I hate rain . . . hate it. I went out into it anyway today . . . walking and jogging (jogging used lightly) for Byron’s sake, really. Poor puppy dog, I think he misses summertime more than me . . . thats pretty bad.
I put his rain coat on . . . thats why I bought it. A bright yellow rain coat made for Byron’s size. We get home, I take it off and the underside of the “raincoat” was damp. Whats the point if its not waterproof?
Anyhow . . . then my loverly friend, Jalaine, brought Taebo Kick-My-Butt over and, well, kicked my abs really. Buns are tomorrow . . . I know you’re thrilled. Maybe I’ll actually start making a dent in the 10 or so pounds I put on through the past 6 months . . . grr.
We did get a membership to the Kroc Center, thanks to Tob’s preschool, its a brand new fitness club, pool and community center not a mile from my house. That has been the biggest blessing! And in the nic of time, this stinkin’ cold winter weather limits the old outdoor time, for sure. The pool is super cute, made for kids and the boys have loved every second. Mom loves the workout facility and daycare so I can actually USE the workout facility. Nice!
Justin is in the thick of the Paramedic Program . . . he has started clinicals, about 2 weeks ago, and next week that ups to clinicals three times a week, plus school, plus studying, etc.
Holy Crud . . . and thank ya, Lord . . . all at the same time.
We do get to make the trip to Washington for Thanksgiving with my parents . . . yeah, they are currently residing in the Trij-Cities, if you didn’t know. Much closer than Vegas. Justin has the weekend and I’m so looking forward to the family time!!
Tob has taken to calling us different kinds of animals. He has settled on me being a rabbit, Justin being an elephant, Sam being a turtle and himself being a frog. Its been this way for a month . . . he reminds me of our animal kingdom names every few days.
Myron . . . that is what Tob decided Byron’s name was today and there was no telling him otherwise! Myron, kinda cuter than Byron. Hmm.
The imagination of a 4 year old boy. I won’t talk about the smartelic remarks that come from the same beautiful face.
So, here’s to living . . . my life is really not very exciting so I haven’t written very much lately. Just wanted to pop in here and let ya’ll know we still exist . . . our hearts are still oxygenating blood and pumping away . . . though Justin has informed me after the billionth time of listening to my heartbeat over the course of the last few months that I have an irregular rythm every once in awhile. I asked if I was going to die, he said no, so I think no more of it. The heart has its own electricity . . . I love learning this stuff and making it my very own . . . how freakin awesome is that? And I’m not tested and graded . . . much funner!
My wisdom teeth were pulled out, all four of them, on Friday. Awesome, cuz the two bottom ones were rotting. Painful, it has been . . . but apparently very normal healing process. They feel like giant holes in my head . . . my friend informed me the grow together, in other words the holes go away over about a month’s span of time.
Cool . . . hurry up about it! I love almonds and almonds are IMPOSSIBLE to eat without getting the little almond crumbs in those gosh darn holes. grr.
The hardships of life.
Justin was at school all day . . . now he’s at the gym . . . he’ll be back anytime now. I better go for now, I suppose. I might need to go to bed as well.
Huh.
Well . . . have a loverly week! Happy Veterans day, for Wed., I surely appreciate whats been done for me and mine, including my country!!
Just cuz their low cal/low fat does NOT mean eat the whole box.
Oops.
Life keeps going. Actually it keeps getting busier but, hey, isn’t that how it roles.
Justin came home a tad early . . . 7, instead of 9pm . . . and we made dinner, hung out, laughed, and talked . . . then he went off to study drug cards.
I feel like all I hear about is medical this and medical that . . . Justin eats, sleeps and breathes it. Geez, I had no idea the intensity of the program . . . and geez, I thought the Fire program was intense. I was wrong.
But we are doing good. Daily recognizing the sheer miracle of us being able to ride this ride and to see it through . . . financially, spiritually, emotionally, and all other ways. Hard to do with two youngins at home and bills to pay.
Tobias, we are finding, is a very active child . . . information I was already aware of and now is being confirmed by his preschool teacher(s). But such a good kid. I didn’t realize sending him to preschool would increase the love and understanding I already had for him . . . crazy, I didn’t know it could increase anymore. And he is smart . . . I had no idea how much I was underestimating him. Hmmm.
Nothing really all that new to report, really.
Samuel’s current favorite movie: Finding Nemo . . . it came back out of the “Tucker Vault”. :) One of those we wrote off as destroyed after I found it, sans case, buried in a toy bin.
I’m here, with my boys, constantly. It amazes me what the get away with that I never see. I don’t go to sleep while they are up playing . . . I don’t zone out into tv, you gotta have tv to do that . . . where was I when the permanent marker was liberally scribbled onto the bedroom door? Huh? Where?
Anyway . . . Finding Nemo, it skips really bad in two spots but otherwise plays great.
Great.
Tobias can’t get enough Shaun the Sheep. If you haven’t seen those cartoons, haha, you gotta . . . too cute!
Yeah, Shaun the Sheep is still new to the household, so I still find it cute and funny and non-obnoxious.
Today we . . . that would be my friend, Jalaine, her son, Jordan, myself and Samuel . . . went on a walk after our two eldest boys went to preschool.
Um . . . rain or shine . . . pick one!! . . . just don’t change your mind in the middle of our walk/jog! For heaven’s sakes!
Beautiful patchy blue sky on our way out . . . half way, downpour.
AWESOME
Strawberry milk tastes like Pepto Bismal . . . or vise versa.
It was for the kids anyway.
The strawberry milk, that is.
We found out this past week that Justin’s aunt and uncle recently moved not 2 miles from us, here in Keizer. Thats exciting . . . and random. And thats all I gotta say about that. Random
I think its time for me to go snuggle up to my hot hot hubby in the other room . . . in other words, go to bed, get some sleep, so I feel refreshed and ready to hit the day with all I’ve got.
Did I mention I have a head cold . . . I have for 3 days now. It is zapping all energy cells from my body. Help me, Rhonda, would ya?
Alright . . . taking myself to bed now.
And, no, I’m not drunk . . . just chatty.
Blessings on your week!
Actually it was a really mellow and sorta boring Sunday.
I found time to do some cleaning that I’ve put off for some time. Organization . . . NOT my strong suite.
I finally rinsed . . . well, actually cleaned the stringy pumpkin guts . . . from the many many many seeds and roasted them (the seeds) up. We had carved pumpkins a bit early, as in last week, and the seeds were waiting for me. They turned out fine, I suppose . . . it was more for Justin than myself. He likes them. They’re suppose to be good for you . . . ok, I looked it up, cuz I was curious. They are much like nuts in their nutritional content . . . not that shocking considering nuts are seeds, just bigger. Well, in my tiny little world they are. hehe Anyhoo . . . for a cup they are almost 300 calories and 12 grams of fat . . . though a cup would be A LOT of seeds! 12% Iron . . . not shabby. The texture and taste remind me of roasted soy nuts. Good but super filling.
I’m not sure why I needed to rattle all that off on here. Thats what 2 hours of my afternoon consisted of, perhaps thats why.
Quit laughing at me.
I picked the last of the squash, beans and tomatoes from my plants today. I nearly cried. Surely gardening isn’t suppose to last until mid-October but it did. I also cut the last of my sunflowers to decorate my house. So uplifting to have them about.
The boys and I walked to the grocery store . . . a whole .7 miles from my house. That is POINT 7 miles . . . as in less than a mile. I think its 1.4 miles, round trip. :) I packed what I could and came home. I really do enjoy walking to accomplish stuff, like grocery shopping. I loathe when the weather turns rainy for months on end . . . makes it a bit more of task to get outside.
Other than school engulfing Justin to the max . . . 7 days a week . . . and my rather irritating adjustment into that world again . . . everything is as it has been. But less than a year!! . . . thats consolation to me. That and the grace of my God, good friends and family. Clinicals, for Justin start this week too.
To pay back all the people that have been so so generous through this season . . . I can’t wait!!
Anyhoooooooo . . . off to bed I go.
Blessings on your week!
One of the fiercely BEAUTIFUL Sunflowers from me garden. Uh, yeah, they just grow that way.
There’s a lot of just downright depressing stuff in this world.
I was searching, intronet style, yesterday for something regarding USA History . . . just reading and looking at photographs and came across a blog . . . which I’m sure I could go find again, if need be . . . with poignant photographs, national and international, of starving children in the face of famine, immigrant mothers struggling as a field workers, wars and the effects regarding.
Harsh to look at . . . I ended that blog post crying and feeling the starkness of humanity . . . the fragility of mankind. But also to look at where I am, who I am and all that I’ve been blessed with. If I could, in my tiny little sphere of living, create a positive influence . . . from the simple smile to the passerby to buying groceries for someone who needs it to just choosing grace above judging my fellow man.
Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I’ll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You’ll be living proof that I didn’t go to all this work for nothing. ~Philippians 2:14 (Message Bible)
Perhaps, there will be a time, later in life, that I can give . . . do more, in God’s will and grace. But, instead of getting depressed by the overwhelming awareness of human fragility and cruelty . . . I want to love extravagantly the people in my life, forgive easily, be in love with my Savior, the very pureness of truth, love and light.
He said, “That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself.” ~Luke 10:27 (Message Bible)
My neighbor is more than just my physical neighbor . . . more than my friends . . . my family . . . or people that I can identify with and like instantly. Pretty sure the Bible is referring to anyone put in our path. If we get our feathers ruffled with a person or circumstance its because that person or situation has violated our rights . . . has gone against our image of ourselves, our identity . . . playing on our self-esteem perhaps. Or the person just does not add up to what we would desire in a human being, as a friend or acquaintance.
“Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that. ~Luke 6:31 (Message Bible)
Hey . . . I’m just sharing thoughts regarding myself and how I think . . . stuff I’m pretty convicted on this week. I’ve been disappointed in how I’ve reacted to a few circumstances/people this week . . . even in my own family unit. My humanity just makes me wanna get closer to God . . . rest my head on His chest, arms around his neck; like a child. I’m tired of not getting it right . . . I’m tired of trying, in my own strength to be Christ-like. It isn’t possible. Fake it for awhile, but in reality . . . it ain’t happenin’ unless I’m letting Him into all those areas . . . trusting, like a child to a Father, Him to be that close . . . to heal, to deliver, to walk with me even when I don’t see Him, feel Him or hear Him.
Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn’t pleased at being ignored. ~Romans 8:5 (Message Bible)
So thats the random thoughts floating through my brain today . . . that and the coffee I brewed today tastes so so good!
mmm . . . coffee!
Learning to show grace in every circumstance . . .
We all have, constructed in our brains, social norms and what is acceptable and unacceptable. I’m not talking about whats harmful and not harmful . . . I’m talking mostly on appearances and first impressions. I have a set of my own, buried in there.
An instance at the park this morning reminded me how insecure I can be in the face of judgement . . . and how that effects my response. Without thinking I said some things to my friend, that I walk with on a regular basis, regarding the people involved. I’ve been thinking about it since and why the people and their actions had badgered out such a response from me.
It wasn’t even that dramatic of an event . . . I was more disturbed by how much it bothered me than anything.
I think we have a choice before responding or having ill feelings take hold . . . choice before words are spoken and ideas and opinions are set that alter how people around you shade your character. Is Jesus being glorified in my words? My actions?
I asked Justin about it after telling him the story and he simply said “grace” . . . you either choose grace or you choose to judge right back.
I am regretful that I didn’t choose the grace bit . . . I truly am.
How do I treat people that don’t look desirable to me? It should be the same way Jesus treated the lowly tax collectors and prostitutes. With love and grace.
How about people that we think are looking down on us . . . ? The same. There is always more there than meets the eye.
I wanna learn to choose grace!
Have a blessed weekend!!!!
I grew a garden this year. I didn’t do so hot at it . . . Man, that is the hardest thing I’ve had to admit in some time.
We planted really late, like mid-July . . . in hopes that an Indian Summer would save us of our folly. But, alas, no Indian summer lasts until November . . . not that I’m aware anyway.
There’s other stuff I could’ve done right . . . and you seasoned gardeners are going to be laughing at me.
I did small raised beds and some stuff just planted in tilled up good soil/regular soil mixed. The soil was fine, so I will say no more about that. What I screwed up on were these things . . . planting WAY to many seeds (hard for me to picture a full grown garden when we planted from seed) in too small of areas. And with Squash that causes all kinds of problems . . . apparently. I didn’t get much from any of my 4 kinds of Squash.
Ok, lesson learned on that . . . read, yes great . . . but actually FOLLOW the directions for planting on the package. Not enough info given, look it up . . . intronet style.
I kind of like to provide a lot of water. I don’t know what my problem is. I’m thirsty more than once a day, surely my plants are too if its 98 degrees out. Not sure that was a problem but definitely didn’t help in the mildew department.
Ok, there’s other minor things . . . I’m babbling. What I’m getting at is it was still worth it. It was the first time I had ever gardened . . . I enjoyed the few good Squash from the plants . . . the Radishes were freaking awesome! . . . but most of all . . .
The Sunflowers! Oh my goodness. They were fun to watch grow . . . pretty sure inches a day for the past few months . . . and then just bloom, all at once! Gorgeous. I’m gonna do all kinds of Sunflowers next year. This year I just did one kind but a mixture of colors. I’m a bit of a flower feign . . . but these were exceptional . . . me likey!
Next year . . . the veggie garden (and flowers) will be much much better!!
Happy Fall!
This has been the summer of tons of time outdoors, playing with the boys and lots and lots of walks . . . waiting for the old knee to completely heal up from Tendonitis. Lovely.
But sometimes through the tightness of finances and time restraints . . . not to mention the pressure to get through school and land the perfect job for Justin . . . there’s times of just complete realization of our inadequacies. If we recognize that for what it is . . . look to God and say “oh yeah, thats what we depend on you for, thats what we praise and glorify you for . . . we couldn’t do it without ya, God!” it turns out good. Peace, joy and hope reign.
Lord, help me to look to you in this season and as school revs back up for Justin! I need you more than ever!!
God bless you . . . through the seasons of life.
No power on earth or heaven can separate us from God’s love. Not our sin, not any authority, not any spiritual force. God’s love is unshakable and can always be relied upon. ~Romans 8:38
